Michigan Camp Meeting 2016: The Harvest is Great

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Michigan Conference of Seventh-day Adventists

The Two Shall Become One

Darryl Bentley

The Two Shall Become One- Part 1

Loving Father, Lord, you said that it was not good that man should be alone.

And Adam, as he was naming all the animals, he looked around and he did not find someone equal or suitable for himself.

And Lord, when he came to that realization, you answered that desire in his heart.

You took 1 of his ribs and you formed woman.

Father, you presented her to him, and thus was began the first marriage relationship.

So Father, we understand that this is something that has come from your hand.

This is not something the world has devised or could have even come up with.

It's a gift which society has grossly perverted.

And Father, I just pray that through this brief time together that someone here might be blessed with a deeper understanding of what it means to be in a godly relationship.

And so, Father, I thank you for this time, and we ask this in Jesus' name.

I want to start out by asking you a question.

I like to ask questions, because I've discovered that you actually learn a lot by asking questions, Right?

And I've even heard people say there's no such thing as a stupid question.

People just tell you that to get you to ask questions.

I mean, let me give you an example of a stupid question.

I go into a pizza place and I order a burrito Can I order none?

That's a stupid request or you're in a pizza You see what I'm saying?

So this is there's no such thing as a stupid there is Okay, so we want to ask intelligent questions.

And so hopefully this is an intelligent question What is the difference between dating and courting?

And please remember I get paid by the month so I can stand here all day.

Okay, so intentionality could be a component that differentiates dating and courting.

Purpose of marriage, okay, so there's a...

Okay, okay, so you guys are gonna run a couple of roving mics here.

Yeah, they are recording these for accountability.

So conference reviews these to see if I'll have my job after we're done.

All right, so the first person that answered, who was the first person?

So the question was, what is the difference between dating and courting?

I think courting is more intentional in your purpose to get to know the person for a long-term relationship.

So that intentionality is a differentiation.

And then the young lady up here, she had a comment as well.

Just for a little orientation on these mics, they're directional mics.

So, you have to hold them this way, not like this.

So if you hold it at your belly, all we're gonna hear is gurgling.

Okay, so what do you think is the difference?

I had some friends and their parents only let them court.

And in that situation, they were only allowed to go out in groups.

They were never allowed to be alone with their intended person and so those were some aspects of their of their parameters.

You're never alone with the opposite sex.

It was always only groups or a chaperone.

So what's the difference between that and dating though?

In dating, sometimes you are alone with the intended person.

But I think in both situations, I think in the Adventist world or even Christian, I think we try to have the intention of dating.

I don't think we should date just to date.

You guys are bringing some good stuff to the table.

And so what I'm going to try to show you also, this is Wikipedia.

And if you know anything about Wikipedia, if you log in, you can edit Wikipedia.

But it says, based on that, a stage of human mating process whereby 2 people meet socially, possibly as friends, or possibly with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage, it can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple.

Okay, Google's online definition for courting, to define courting, as a behavior designed to persuade someone to marry or develop a romantic relationship with 1.

Listen, I had to persuade ginger and it worked.

Anyway, but I want you to see there's a dictionary source that I took these from.

I'm not going to tell you the name of it, because there's a lot of garbage there, but I want you to see what some of the modern thoughts are on dating.

And I want you to understand, and this is probably good for the parents that are here to recognize.

I'm going to be sharing some things within these 2 seminars that are beneath the surface a little bit.

We're not just going to come along and scratch the surface.

We're going to be talking about sex a little bit and those kind of things.

The Two Shall Become One- Part 2

Heavenly Father, as we're moving on to the next part of our time together today, we ask that you be with us.

We come to camp meeting for the time that we can spend together and for the things that we can learn.

1 for our own hearing and the second for the speaker.

I've been in the place of the presenter before and I just asked that would flow well and also for ourselves that we'd be able to learn something to take something and to make it ours and we say this in Jesus name Amen.

Well good morning It is a blessing to be back with you this morning.

I'm glad that you've been able to come and be with us.

Tom, thank you for being with us and for your help.

He has to go back to work, and so we'll miss having Tom with us.

Well, if you missed yesterday, yesterday we started part 1 of this presentation series about how shall 2 will become 1.

And it's based off of course, Genesis and the text there in Timothy that you can or excuse me, Mark 10 that you can see on the screen, which is basically a quote from Genesis 2.

And yesterday we talked about the differences between dating and courtship, and we decided, based on biblical evidence and based on what we see presented in our modern world, that we want to get away from the term dating because dating has become basically just a way to find the next sexual partner within our modern society.

Courtship is something which is much more intentional that is designed to find a life partner within the context of Christian marriage guidelines.

And so you'll hear me referring to courtship, to courting, and I know it sounds a little old-fashioned, but I think it's a powerful distinction that we can make.

And if you missed yesterday's presentation, it will be available at the ABC.

You can go in there and ask for the young adult presentations.

Or if you would like to have a PDF of the slides, just shoot me an email and I'll be glad to share that with you.

And Bentley is spelled just like the automobile I'll never have.

And if you'll shoot me a quick email I'll be glad to share the presentations with you so that you can look over them in your own time.

But today you can see we're going to be talking about part 2.

Yesterday we talked about the prelude to marriage which is that pre courtship, the courtship and engagement phases, but now we're going to talk about you've made it past the I do.

Okay, you've said I do, you've had your nuptials as they say, you're married, you've started your life together, And now what do you do?

And so we're gonna try to give you a little help, a little guidance on that today, and I pray it can be a blessing to you.

If you do have questions, feel free to raise your hand.

And we will have a Q&A time at the very end.

So if you wanna save your question for then, you can do that as well.

But I just want to pause for a word of prayer and ask the Lord to bless us and we are recording these again so they can be at the ABC for you.

Gracious Father, Lord we are thankful that you said it is not good for man to be alone.

Father, we appreciate that in your love, in your great wisdom, and in your plan for us that you designed that we would have a partner in life, that each man should have a woman and each woman should have a man.

So Father, we just want to honor that and do things according to your plan.

Lord, as we spend this time together today, I need your wisdom, I need your guidance.

Lord, I don't wanna just share my ideas, my thoughts, I want them to be your thoughts, your ideas, so that we might lead people in a deeper relationship with each other, but especially with Jesus.

So Lord, guide us now in our discussion time, as we present, we ask these things in Jesus' name, amen.

So again, I've been quote referencing this, but I want to remind you about this as we start out.

And this is, of course, the Gospel according to Mark, but it's being quoted here from Genesis 2, 23-24.

It says, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the 2 shall become what?

They'll be coming together so they are no longer 2 but 1 flesh.

There's something within the special bonds of marriage where it's not that we completely lose our identity as individuals, but that identity shifts, that identity morphs into a deeper identity, a broader identity, because you're no longer just a single unit, you are now a partner and you're united and part of that becoming 1 flesh, Paul references this, it's part of it is sexual intimacy.

Okay, we're gonna talk about sexual things a little bit today, I'm not gonna get gross or crass or anything like that, but we will discuss a few things, okay?

This is in an adult setting, but I will try to be...

I don't want to talk about anything that's off-color, okay?

And Paul talks about how when we join ourselves sexually with someone and he actually speaks about it in sexual immorality he said you're becoming 1 flesh with that person and so that's part of God's design.

We're gonna jump in today I'm gonna talk to you I am going to attempt to talk to you in about an hour in what I normally would take 8 to 10 weeks to cover with a couple.

Okay, so realize this is going to be like drinking from a fire hose.

So there's a lot that I would normally throw in.

I've tried to synthesize this down to where it's just the basics that I can give you to give you something to think about to start challenging you in this type of area.

But first and foremost I always share with a couple that is prospectively looking to be married, okay, I always share with them Christ has to be at the center.

If you do not have the bond of Jesus Christ in your marital relationship, even in your courting relationship, you're completely off base.

Okay, so you've got to have Christ at the center.

If any marriage has any hope of survival, it must have Jesus at the very center of it.

If you come into it with any other expectation or any other bond that's holding you together, maybe you met at a comic convention.

If your marriage is based on Superman, you're in trouble.

Because the man of steel will not hold you together.

He might be able to stop a speeding bullet, he might be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but Superman's not strong enough to hold a marriage together, but Jesus is.

Okay, so you've gotta have Jesus at the center.

Now, I'm gonna hit something that is sensitive for some people, okay?

I'm gonna talk to you about being unequally yoked.

This means that both husband and wife, to be, must have a saving relationship with Jesus.

The Bible is very clear on this, that we should not be unequally yoked.

So now you have the reference where it speaks of this.

If it's convenient for you, don't be unequally yoked.

If it happens to work out, don't be unequally yoked.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

And then he gives you some logic behind it.

He says, for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?

And what communion has light with darkness?

Now friends, this is not just as it relates to marriage relationships.

This is speaking of all of our intimate friendships.

Okay, your best friend, you should be equally yoked with your best friend.

Oh, well, pastor, here you are telling us that we should just go off into a corner, that we should be isolationists, that we should be insular, we should pull away from everybody.

And what the Bible's teaching is what Paul was trying to teach the church in Corinth was listen, in your deepest, your most intimate, your closest relationships, they need to be people who are on the same spiritual level as you are.

Now does that not line up then if I'm going to be in a marriage relationship is that not the deepest and the most sensitive of all relationships?

Of course it does and so we want to be equally yoked within the marriage relationship.

Now what are we talking about in greater detail?

Series

The Two Shall Become One

The Two Shall Become One- Part 2

Transcript

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Attachments

Malfunction to Miracles

56m

How to Work Together as a Couple or Family in Ministry

1h 48m

Letters From My African Lover

How to Win a Loser

45m

GYC SE 2013: How to Avoid a Breakup

Safeguarding Your Relationship

1h

Singleness, Dating, and Relationships in the Church

Swipe Right, Part 3

1h 40m

To Have and to Hold on

Holding On - Part 5

1h 13m

Marriage

Marriage is Not For You Part 2

1h 4m

Marriage Heart to Heart

1. An Enduring Commitment

1h 5m

Biblical Relationships (Afternoon meetings)

Preparing to Tie the Knot (Part 2)

31m

Bold unto the Throne Seminars

Building a Sanctuary Inspired Marriage

40m

Dating Isn't For Cowards

Dating Isn’t For Cowards- Part 2

51m

How to Know God's Will for My Life

How to Know God’s Will for My Relationships

48m

Sound Doctrine