A closer look at the deeper experience of forgiveness for the Christian.

Hartland Fall Conference 2017: The Divine Right to Rule

<p>A closer look at the deeper experience of forgiveness for the Christian.</p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

Hartland Institute of Health and Education

Fred Dana

The Cost of Forgiveness

When I was 13 years old, in eighth grade, at Browning Memorial Elementary, next to the Atlantic Union College campus.

Atlantic Union College was having a brand new library built.

And some of my classmates and I had noticed that there was heavy equipment.

We could see the site from our school and you know being boys we would rather go over and watch that than be in school.

So anyway, as soon as school was out, I headed over there to see what was going on.

They were working on the, digging out the foundation and there was just tons of mud there, tons of dirt.

And I came walking up on a sidewalk and 1 of my classmates, who I did not like, was walking down the sidewalk kind of like he was somebody, you know.

And he just came right over to me, and he just, he was 6 feet tall, I wasn't even 5 feet tall yet, and I was surprised at how helpless I was instantly, but he just picked me up and he laid me down in the mud and he rolled me back and forth in it.

I was furious, But I couldn't do a thing about it.

My coat was smeared, oozing, it was soaking into my underwear.

And my feeble attempt for some self-dignity was to angrily announce that he would be paying for a brand new coat for me.

And that big shot just laughed and walked away.

In my mind, my thoughts were screaming, he has to pay for this.

And later at home, I worked real hard on my mom, tried to persuade her to call his mom and demand they buy me a new coat.

Actually she told me I needed to get along better with my classmates.

I reluctantly admitted that I'd called him something.

She just brushed off a lot of the mud, it was dry and most of it just brushed right off easy, and she threw the coat in the wash, and that was that.

When we're wronged, there's 4 choices in how you're going to respond to it.

When you're wrong, 4 choices, and they all begin with R.

I had to go to school the next day and be in the classroom all day with this guy.

And I just couldn't stand the sight of him.

I was humiliated and I thought of revenge, and that's the first R.

But it would be risky because he'd get me back again.

And then I thought, well, I probably can't get even.

But I thought of how to just reject him, just cut him out of my life, have nothing to do with him.

Problem is, I knew it wouldn't bother him at all.

But another problem was, we were in the same classroom all day.

So the only option I could see at the time was to just hate him, resent him, just all on the inside.

So R number 4 is reconciliation or reconcile.

And of course, if you're going to reconcile, what does that mean has to be done?

Why would I want to forgive him when resentment actually felt kind of good, and my contempt for him was so justified.

Matthew 6, 12, Jesus said to pray, asking God to forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

But when someone wrongs us, usually forgiveness isn't the first impulse of our nature, is it?

Requiring repayment, getting even, getting Revenge, those are usually the first impulses of human nature.

In fact, an unforgiving spirit, according to Amazing Grace 328, an unforgiving spirit is 1 of the most common of sins.

Consider the cost of retaliation or revenge.

You know, spiteful words can lead to action, and people sometimes get hurt physically, as well as hurt feelings.

I know this from personal experience, because That's what I did with my older brother.

He'd treat me wrong and I'd lash out at him and he usually ended up punching me again.

You try to get even and things just escalate and get worse.

There was a statistical review at 1 hospital emergency room that went back through the years reviewing all the cases that had come into the emergency room and they found that nearly 50% of all the injuries were caused by family, friends, or acquaintances.

The famous Quaker and leader of the Pennsylvania colony, William Penn, He explained the danger of revenge this way, he said, not to be provoked is best, but if moved, never correct till the fume is spent.

For Every stroke our fury strikes is sure to hit ourselves at last.

Jesus said it this way, all they that take up the sword shall perish with the sword.

In other words, what you give out usually comes back 1 way or another eventually.

Well, you know, okay, so let's rule out retaliation.

Bitterness takes the soul hostage and it stunts our human development.

Psychologists deal with chronic human dysfunction because of trauma that people can't deal with, often some type of physical abuse or emotional abuse or sexual abuse, quite often in childhood.

Painful experiences that haven't been dealt with and certainly not forgiven often result in repressed hatred and anger that create havoc in people's lives, messing them all up so they can't handle marriage very well, they can't handle parenting very well, and maybe they can't even handle employment very well.

The anxiety and bitterness even affect physical health, eventually resulting in disease.

It costs our emotional and our physical health.

I'm going to give you a really graphic example.

My oldest sister, her husband was diagnosed with liver cancer, I think it's 7 years ago now.

He was the Dean of Men at Walla Walla University, and he's a very determined person with, he's kind of a freak of nature.

His lung capacity is double the average human being, so when he was in college he could run a mile under 5 minutes with no training.

So someone with that type of physical ability kind of has this un-invincible way of handling life.

And he was, he continued to be Dean of Men for 3 years.

And all of a sudden they decided to let him go.

Now, during those 3 years, he was doing, he was researching, doing natural treatments, he refused chemo, And he had already beaten what all the doctors said by 6 times.

And they didn't give him a reason for letting him go.

And when he pressed, they said, well, you know, some people think you're not up to it anymore with the cancer and all.

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The Cost of Forgiveness

Transcript

Description

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Related

Marriage Heart to Heart

Forgiveness

54m

The Parables

The Unforgiving Servant

39m

Let the Words of My Mouth

Let the Words of My Mouth- Part 1

30m

Care Enough To Confront

42m

Choose To Forgive

37m

Restoring the Home

04 The Power of Forgiveness

1h 10m

Forgiveness

38m

Breaking the Silence

37m

To Forgive Is To Benefit

36m

The Alabaster Box- How Jesus Treated People

40m

Repent the Right Way and Be Forgiven

47m

Evening Devotions

Standing Before God

1h

Sound Doctrine