Starting in Genesis, Darlye presents a novel framework in which our relationships flourish, and presents practical advice to young people for forming relationships on their campuses.

ACF Institute 2018: A Higher Aim

<p>Starting in Genesis, Darlye presents a novel framework in which our relationships flourish, and presents practical advice to young people for forming relationships on their campuses.</p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

Adventist Christian Fellowship (ACF)

Darlye Innocent

Why Jesus Can’t be Your Boyfriend

My brother is the first ever Seventh Day Adventist chaplain at MIT.

So in Boston, in a 10 mile radius, we have over 80 colleges and universities.

Yeah, so it's a little bit different than your traditional ACF group on 1 campus or maybe a multi-site campus, which was the case when I worked on my PhD at Arizona State University.

But Boston changed the game completely in that we campus hop all week long, most of the summer as well, and it's just been amazing.

I've learned so much, the students are so incredible, and God has been growing me throughout this entire process.

And so today what we're gonna talk about, friendships and relationships, We're going to start off more or less in the friendship area, end up in the relationship area.

We're really, it's not so much the how-to's of either.

But today, I want to discuss some things that I hope will change your mindset around both, which will allow you to enjoy a much more enriched experience in your relationship.

But before we get started, let's say a word of prayer.

Jesus in heaven, we're so grateful for your goodness and your love towards us.

Thank you for creating us and creating us with this opportunity to just live a flourishing life, to really engage with 1 another and just delight in our community.

So we just ask that it be your Holy Spirit that teach, lead, and guide us today.

So college students, you guys, and grad students, you have all been a part of a group project, have we not?

Okay, so here are 4 of the main characters of nearly every group project.

You have 1 guy who does 99% of the work, right?

Then you have a guy or gal who has no idea what's going on the entire time.

Mind you, the professor has explained it in detail.

And the professor has given us, thank you, the professor has given us handouts so you could read exactly what the project is.

But this person, it doesn't matter, clueless the entire time.

Then there's the guy or girl who says they're going to help, but they're not, and they don't.

And then there's a person who disappears at the very beginning and doesn't show up again until the very end.

And this character I think is probably my favorite because this is the person who the day of presentation wants to present first.

And on the PowerPoint, their name has to appear first, as if they've done any work.

So all jokes aside, you don't want to be any of these people.

Most of us might even say, but the person who does 99% of the work, at least they do the work.

Actually, no, that's quite harmful, because all they're doing is aiding and abetting laziness.

So you don't want to be any of these people in a group project.

I believe that the Christian walk is the quintessential group project with real world ramifications.

Oftentimes, maybe too often, in our academic lives we take on projects and papers and research and all these different things that sometimes we don't even see, how does this apply after I graduate?

And we're not seeing how the dots connect.

It's the quintessential group project and we get to see exactly how it plays out in the real world and that's really exciting.

So when we take this to heart, this Christian walk that's a group project, we become very different from the world.

A different kind of friend and a different kind of lover.

And you guys might be saying, most of us are not married, so how can we be a different kind of lover?

I want you to just keep that in your mind, and I will slowly build the case as to why, as Christians, we should be a different kind of lover.

So in Genesis 1, 27 and 28, we read, so God created man in his own image.

Then God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.

This, Genesis 1 and 2, are the blueprint for God's idea of what human flourishing is.

And while we may be very familiar with these 2 texts, I wanna pull something out that maybe you haven't seen before.

And that is God creates man and woman, he blesses them, and we know that they're in the garden, right?

And then he tells them to take over what?

So you're in the garden, you're blessed, and then God says, have at it.

Oftentimes we think that the Christian walk is super restrictive.

God had every right to create a wonderful space that took up the entire world and then leave a little plot of land for Adam and Eve to do their thing.

He created them, He blesses them, and then says, go out.

So I want us to understand that the world has always been ours to win.

It's not a thing that we're doing now that we have fallen, and now that there's sin, and now we have to go out and share the gospel with the entire world.

The world was always a space that God said, this is for mankind.

Today, however, our work is to win hearts, whereas back then it was a physical exploration.

So, baked into the life of human beings, God wants us to experience adventure, he wants us to experience exploration, curiosity.

There's so much that God wants us to explore and we're gonna look at some of that in just a little bit.

I believe that we've all seen this list and we're probably trying to live up to this list, right?

God is first, family is second, friends are third, work, and then possessions.

And this mindset, I believe, actually circumvents the whole in the garden, bless, take over the world.

And you might be thinking, but Darlie, we're supposed to put God first.

And this is how we're supposed to order our lives.

There's a book that I'm actually reading currently where the author doesn't even think that this list is spiritual enough.

And this is the list that he's come up with.

So God is first, and way second are family, friends, work, and possessions.

I would say that this author, although well-meaning, is doing pretty much the same thing that the first list is doing, which is creating this vertical, linear kind of way of thinking about life.

Well, I would say that life is not a list.

Life actually is more like artwork, where your friends might be a color blue, black might be work, church might be yellow, your siblings might be orange, your parents might be purple, on and on and on, until you have a piece of art.

And some of you might be saying, okay, I get the art thing that is nicer, and I could feel maybe the stress coming off your shoulders as to like, I have to make God first, because now you're seeing that relationships are all a part of this life.

And you might be thinking, but then that makes God which color?

And so rather than this list where we're trying to figure out how this person comes second after God and what does that actually look like?

How do we know we've had enough God time to then move on to family and friends?

And so rather than stress yourself in that way, understand that God created relationships.

Why Jesus Can’t be Your Boyfriend

Transcript

Description

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Attachments

Related

Seminars

Family in End-Time Perspective

51m

Restoring the Home

03 Biblical Principles for Marriage

1h 4m

Relationships and Family Life

My ‘Single’ Desire

1h 24m

Talking to Strangers

02 Talking to Strangers

52m

Do Not Awaken Love Till it so Desires

33m

God's Love Stories (Noon Meetings)

8. Praying Right

39m

Got Thinking Problems?

Coping with Our Problems - Part 1

1h 13m

What If I Fail?

52m

Three Essentials for a Strong Marriage

1h 2m

The Weight of Waiting

1h 10m

Power of the Everlasting Gospel

The Covenant’s Promised Blessings!

1h 18m

The Truth About Sex & Sexuality

5. Playing the Love Game

1h 5m

Sound Doctrine