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Adverum Productions

Journeys Season 1

Christopher Laubscher

Should Christians Have Ecstatic Experiences?: Christopher’s Journey

Dan Millares

Searching for the Meaning of Life: Dan’s Journey

Cacyne Hernehult

Searching for True Love: Cacyne’s Journey

Maj Oblak

Can Faith Be Rational?: Maj’s Journey

Miikael Volkonski

I Would Never Become a Christian: Miikael’s Journey

Jan Haugg

Finding Hope for the Environment: Jan’s Journey

Conrad Whitaker

Beyond Rituals and Crucifixes: Conrad’s Journey

Samuel Jacobsen

Escape From New Age and the Paranormal: Samuel’s Journey

Grace Rose

Finding Peace at Last: A Miraculous Journey

Jonas Nygard

Hungry for More: Jonas’ Journey

Albert Jurgens

Learning to Trust the Bible: Albert’s Journey

Chris Berger

Existential U-turn: Chris’s Journey


I took my crucifix, snapped it in half, took my rosary which I had as well, shredded it to pieces, and I was in tears on the side of the road. I was finished with God. You don't exist in my life anymore. I've had enough. My name is Conrad Whittaker.

I was born in England to Catholic parents. My father was a music composer for films and my mother was a miniature artist. That's to say, she wasn't miniature but she painted miniature paintings. At 4 years of age however my father left my mother and I grew up as a result with my mother and my elder brother. So I had a good relationship with my mother but since my father had not supported my mother financially, my mother had a struggle to make ends meet and she had no time for either of us children.

So I had to fill in my own time, which I did with television. Now that took about 4 hours of my day, and every day I'd watch television. I just was addicted to TV. As a child, I was involved in the Catholic church as an altar boy. I went to church every Sunday, but my faith wasn't based on anything intellectual, it was based on following a traditional pattern, somewhat of a habit.

My auntie Margaret, who is a nun, is sister of my mother. She gave me some occasional advice. And once she said, I'm going to give you a simple prayer to say, if you say it every day, you'll be saved. And that appealed to me because it was simple, it was short, and I said it not just once, but 7 times a day, because I wanted to cover up for those previous days that I hadn't said it in my life. And it was a prayer, it was immaculate heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

At the age of 16 I started having some serious doubts about the existence of God. My mind had now opened in a new dimension of discovering common sense and things that were logical. And the question in my mind, above all questions, was, does God really exist? So I thought, this question needs to be put to the test. Well I thought I could test quite simply to see if God existed or whether he didn't.

I had a passion or a hobby in my life and that was metal detecting. I used to like looking for old coins, treasures, gold, jewelry, anything of historical value and I had an idea If I could test God by telling him, look, if I find something today, I will believe that you exist. If I don't, then you definitely don't exist. So I took my metal detector and I had my bicycle, I had a new bicycle and I went to this place where I was going to find something and prove whether God exists or not. And guess what?

I took with me my crucifix. Now I used to have a crucifix like this 1 and I used to speak to God I use the little tab on the back I used to flip it up like that like you do on a microphone you switch it on and I used to say, no God, if I don't find anything today, there's no God. So off I went on my bicycle with my metal detector, I went off for the day looking for my treasure And what did I find? Nothing at all. Not a thing.

Not only that, I broke my metal detector. And on the way home to Capitol, my new bicycle broke. I was devastated. I jumped off my bike on the side of the road. I took my crucifix, snapped it in half, took my rosary which I had as well, shredded it to pieces.

And I was in tears on the side of the road. I was finished with God. You don't exist in my life anymore. I'd had enough. About 3 months later my mother had told me, son you should really go on holiday by yourself now, you're old enough.

I thought, yes my uncle lives in Germany, Maybe I could visit him. That's my mother's brother. I spent 6 weeks with my auntie and uncle. Now they were Seventh Day Adventists and I was exposed to 6 weeks of their lifestyle, which really was quite intriguing. I enjoyed the vegetarian cooking, and I enjoyed talking to my uncle about topics which were very deep from the Bible and things that related to God and to his existence.

I had a great time in those 6 weeks. I could compare my uncle's lifestyle to those of other families I knew. My uncle was different. He looked to benefit other people and to harmonize the family more, spend more time together with the children, spend more time with God, talk about things that were real in life rather than escaping through some kind of entertainment. After my holiday was over I returned to England and I visited my father on the way back to my mother and I told him of my ventures.

And my father was totally devastated that I could think anything outside of Catholicism. He spent about 3 hours trying to convert me back to the traditional way of thinking. And he almost won me over. He tried to explain that the Catholic Church has guarantees that go way back to the first Pope who was Peter and that these thousands of years of established order would guarantee me eternal life and the truth must be in that church because it's the oldest Christian church. So I was very confused at this stage.

I went home to my mother after the holiday and my uncle continued to correspond with me whilst I was living with my mother and I used to receive in his letters Bible quotes and truths that I had never really thought of before. Because I was still attending Mass on Sundays, I would approach the priest and ask him about these questions and show him these Bible verses to back up what I was thinking. But I was somewhat surprised at his answers because they were always deviating away from those points that I was trying to make. So slowly the balances were tilting in favor of a different kind of religious thinking. After 1 year my uncle returned to England and this was very interesting for me because I was living in Wales at the time with my mother, and things were not looking good as far as my career and there were more opportunities down in the south where my uncle was living so I asked whether it was possible for me to go and live with him and he agreed that yes that would be a good idea And he allowed me to come and stay with him and live at his house.

I was sure now about the existence of God, but there was still a lot of confusion. I found a lot of my answer came from the precision and the incredible insight into history, past, present and future that the prophecies of the Bible bring out, especially when you bring together the book of Daniel and Revelation. When you bring those together, there is an amazing fulfillment in the history of this world, where it came from, where it is now, and where it will be heading. And this showed me that without doubt God's Word is the most reliable way of ascertaining what the truth is. I had found now a faith that not only appealed to my heart, but it made sense and it was based on the Bible and around that time I gave my heart to the Lord.

So from the fortress of my uncle's home I could proclaim to my parents and friends that I had become a Seventh-day Adventist and changed my diet. This was still in the early 80s. From my father's side, however, I had suffered 10 years of pretty bad persecution, at least verbally. Because of my choices, he was very adamant on winning me back to the Catholic Church, and he would try to get me to pray to Mary. And I would answer him, fine, I'll do it, but you need to show me from the Scriptures where it says that I should do that.

And he could never do that. And of course, that led to even more frustration. But from my mother's side, my maternal grandfather, even though he was a Catholic and stayed so until he died, he actually said that if it's going to do him the same amount of good as it's done to my son John then it's a good thing. Until this time in my life I had not read any books. I was not a book reader.

I was dyslexic and I wasn't proud of that. So I forced myself to read at least 1 book that I could have the acknowledgement of reading Animal Farm by George Orwell. That was the book I chose. But I even had to push myself to get through that 1. But anyhow, 1 day when I was at my uncle's house, I came home from work and got ready for bed and it was about 10 o'clock in the evening and I went to bed and right next to the bed there was this bookshelf and I just pulled 1 of those books out at random and started to read in this book And it was late in the evening, about 10, and the next thing I knew, it was 2 in the morning.

I suddenly realized that I had, for the first time in my life, been caught up in a book. And I have, of course, then been reading books ever since. In 1995, I went to a youth convention in Hungary and there I met a girl by the name of Beatrix who would become my wife. She also came from a secular background and she had recently come to the faith through a school friend of hers who had invited her to a youth camp. She also came from a divorced family background and had found in the church the warmth and friendship that I had found and she was longing for that too.

We eventually got married in 1997 and it wasn't until 2004 that we emigrated to Australia. Shortly after we had our daughter who was born. 3 years after that a son. So I have a very lovely family and a fulfilled life and I've experienced God again and again through difficulties, through problems, God has come out on top. I have a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging.

I love to bury myself in research, religious topics, and simplify them so that people can understand difficult topics, but in a very simple fashion. And occasionally I still go out, yes, with my old metal detector and no, I haven't found that treasure yet, but spiritually, yes, I've found the biggest treasure of all. I am a rich man.

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Series

Journeys Season 1

Beyond Rituals and Crucifixes: Conrad’s Journey

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

Other Teachings in Series

Should Christians Have Ecstatic Experiences?: Christopher’s Journey

14m

Searching for the Meaning of Life: Dan’s Journey

14m

Searching for True Love: Cacyne’s Journey

14m

Can Faith Be Rational?: Maj’s Journey

14m

I Would Never Become a Christian: Miikael’s Journey

14m

Finding Hope for the Environment: Jan’s Journey

14m

Beyond Rituals and Crucifixes: Conrad’s Journey

14m

Escape From New Age and the Paranormal: Samuel’s Journey

14m

Finding Peace at Last: A Miraculous Journey

14m

Hungry for More: Jonas’ Journey

14m

Learning to Trust the Bible: Albert’s Journey

14m

Existential U-turn: Chris’s Journey

14m

Sound Doctrine