Fresh Manna 2021

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Strong Tower Radio

Whole Marriages in Broken World

Pat Milligan

Tami Milligan

Whole Marriages in a Broken World Part 2

Fresh manna fell to the ground as a gift from God while the Israelites were in the wilderness.

It was fresh from the ovens of heaven, baked by the Master Baker himself.

How the Israelites must have anticipated the taste and the smell of each morning's delivery.

Just like the Israelites, you too can now experience the taste and smell of fresh manna.

Today you will be listening to Pastor Pat Milligan and his wife Tammy.

Pastor Pat is former pastor of Cadillac and Lake City Seventh-day Adventist churches.

Father in heaven, thank you, Lord, for your love and that you are the 1 that can help us to have a happy home and we just pray for the Holy Spirit to be with us as we discuss these most important subjects.

Just send your spirit to guide us in Jesus name amen.

All right we have 1 question and this is how do you handle a situation when the 2 of you disagree and you know that you are right?

Now I said the other day at a workers meeting, I do my greatest sinning when I'm right.

Yeah, because see, sometimes when you think you're right, you can come across as a little bit superior or arrogant about the fact that, well, you're wrong and I'm right.

And that's kind of what happened in Christ's day.

The Jews thought for sure that they were right, and here they were all wrong.

And they were so arrogant and pious, and then they ended up crucifying their own Messiah, You know, which is really sad.

I think there's a good answer actually to this question.

Well, I would say if you can master the art of fighting fair, you will have accomplished a lot in your relationship.

I had a dear uncle who told me 1 time that he and his wife had never had a fight.

And I said, well, uncle, that's because you and I aren't married, because if we were, we'd fight.

And it truly was because she wouldn't fight.

There was nothing in her to fight, You know?

If there's 1 tool that we have shared in our relationship series that we've done together, this is the favorite tool.

And if you want to take notes, listen to me.

You know, there are some principles in these relationship seminars that just don't apply, right?

Then there's other things that really apply.

This 1 will apply to everyone, I promise you.

And some of you have definitely, you could probably repeat it, because you've heard me share it.

But in the 5 minute rule, the reason it's called that is because generally 1 person in the couple have a tendency to have more words than the other.

Oftentimes, we women, we have 1, 000 words to a man's 1.

There are sometimes the man that has a lot more to say.

So the five-minute rule gives a nice reprieve for the person who's worried this could go on for a long time, right?

So that's why it's called the 5 minute rule.

So my husband and I were having people home for Sabbath dinner.

We were going to have a weekend of events.

We're going to have people over Saturday night.

We had a whole list of things we were gonna do for the weekend.

So ahead of time, we both work full time, we're both busy people, we had a plan about who would do what chores, okay?

My husband will tell you I'm a lot more of a clean freak than he is.

Now he's very particular about messes, like if something gets spilled, like he doesn't like spots or stains or all of that.

Piles and stacks and of course they're organized and he knows where everything is but it kind of gets on my everlasting nerve.

So we had this plan so in my mind I want you to hear me I definitely feel like that I was the 1 who was way more focused on how the house should look than he was.

Now again, part of me is telling myself a story.

Because I will tell you this, he is very aware of how important it is to me that things be neat.

But I can tell myself a story that he's not, and this is how the story goes.

I come home, I walk in the door, and not 1 of his chores are done.

So I get out of work late because I had a patient at the last minute I needed to deal with, and so I'm stressed, and I walk in the door, and he's not there, and Things are not done.

So immediately I tell myself a story it goes something like this.

Oh see It's just not that important to him if he really loved me It would be really important to him that he would do this and we agreed and he did not hold up his end of the bargain and now we're supposed to have people over and look at this house and I am just really working myself up and I might be being a little dramatic but depending on the day I might not be.

So you know I'm stressed in my head and he walks in the door.

Do I not have lots of precious things to say?

So I say, Patrick, he said, wait, wait, honey, can we do the 5 minute rule?

Now I will tell you that usually if you learn a tool in a marriage enrichment seminar and you play it on the other person it doesn't go over well but this 1 does because it's so great wait till you hear it so the five-minute rule and I said absolutely I'm all in because it goes like this wait before I roll it out What is the 1 thing that we want more than anything in an argument?

So both of those I would say, but honestly, the best thing is I wanna be heard.

Because to whoever's point who wrote that question, when I feel like I'm right, I want to be heard, right?

Okay, so in this point, are you with me, am I right?

So far I've got some righteous indignation going on.

So he says, you can go first, because he can see I'm bubbling over, right?

And so in the 5 minute rule, I have 5 minutes.

Now we don't time each other because honestly, we both don't wear out the patience of the saints.

But in the 5 minute rule, I get to talk first, right?

Because he said, do you want to go first?

My job is to talk in ways that I do not use you statements.

You always, you never, I can't believe this.

Not in my words and in my attitude, you know.

And my job is to speak very calmly and respectfully.

His job in the 5 minute rule when he's the listener is to not roll his eyes, sigh loudly, show disrespect by body language, but the biggest thing that's a challenge is he does not interrupt the whole time I'm talking and he listens to understand and not to make a rebuttal.

So instead of planning his attack, his commitment is to listen to me, to strive to understand.

I was gonna do XYZ, you were gonna do ABC.

And look at, you know, we have a deadline to meet.

We have to have this done in a very short time.

So when I walk through the door, I just feel like, do you really care?

Raising Godly Children in a Ungodly World

It was fresh from the ovens of heaven, baked by the master baker himself.

How the Israelites must have anticipated the taste and the smell of each morning's delivery Just like the Israelites you too can now experience the taste and smell of fresh manna Today you will be listening to Pastor Pat Milligan and his wife Tammy.

Our message this morning is going to be focused on raising godly children in an ungodly world.

Father in heaven, we just pray you'll be with all of us, all of us fathers and mothers and grandparents, that you'll give us wisdom beyond our human understanding to know how to raise these young people for you.

I'd like to start out with a couple of Scriptures, and then we're going to be focusing on principles found in the book, Education, under the title, Discipline, the chapter, Discipline on education.

So our first Scripture is Ephesians 6, verse 4.

Ephesians 6, verse 4 says, "...and you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." And then the second scripture that we're going to look at and focus on today is Proverbs 22 and verse 6.

Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

And I think all of us are claiming that promise.

And so, the object of discipline is to train children for self-government, that they may develop self-reliance and self-control.

So, we all have homework assignments today.

The young people listening, you listen as to how you can help cooperate with mom and dad or grandma and grandpa.

And then mom and dad and grandma and grandpa, they will develop these principles that they will encourage you to follow.

So the number 1 thing we would like to talk about, there's about 8 points here, and then we want to specifically target in on fathers.

Remember the Savior's rule, do to others as you would want them to do to you, Luke 6, verse 31.

So this should be the rule of all who understand the training of children and youth.

They are the younger members of the Lord's family, heirs with us of the grace of life.

Christ's rules should be sacredly observed toward the dullest, the youngest, the most blundering, and even toward the erring and rebellious." And I think some of us can identify with that, alright?

And I think of 1 person in particular was Dan Collins.

He was an evangelist and he passed away about 10 years ago.

But his mother was a Seventh-day Adventist Christian, raised him in our schools, and he fit this description very well.

He was blundering and erring and rebellious.

And you say, oh man, you know, those are the last that will ever come around.

Well, you know, many times it's those that will come around.

You know, down the road, are you with me?

We have a tendency to kind of write them off, that man, and I guarantee you, my class of 76, if you were to ask any of them, do you think that Patrick would someday ever become a pastor, I tell you, they'd be on their back, rolling, belly laughing, because I was the last person in my class that they would have said could have ever become a pastor.

The least likely will be the ones that down the road will be the strongest.

I Think it's a challenge to us too because there are just some children.

I don't like I mean I meet them and they're just Disagreeable, they're not respectful They just seem to be bent on just trying to be rebellious in every way.

And there's nothing in my heart that feels loving toward them.

And yet we have an admonition here that God, who left heaven for absolutely nothing attractive in me, And that is the whole premise on which I should in turn be kind and gentle to that child.

But God is calling us to be kind and gentle and loving, especially to those kind of children.

So that tells me that takes supernatural love.

As we receive Christ, we receive his love for everyone.

The second principle we want to bring out again, it's from the book, Education.

Encourage confidence and strengthen the child's sense of honor.

Children and youth are benefited by being trusted.

Suspicion demoralizes, producing the very evils it seeks to prevent, lead the youth to feel that they are trusted.

And there are few who will not seek to prove themselves worthy of the trust." Now let's put some meat on those bones.

Well, you know, our son growing up, I don't think that he ever had a propensity to steal things.

But I'll never forget 1 of the things he looks back on with such pride and happiness is that when he was in the eighth grade, he was in a Baptist Christian school, and they put him in charge of all the student funds.

And they told him, you know, Joel, you'll need to keep track of who turns in their money.

And like, if there was a game or something and people came in and paid, he was in charge of that.

And he was careful down to the penny about making sure that he kept track of those funds.

And I believe it was that the gentleman who said to him, Joel, I know I can trust you, and that's why I'm going to ask you to do this job.

And I think when we give confidence and we ask someone to do something, ask our young people to assist us or to do things, and we show confidence in them, they will rise to that.

I think even in the Bible, we have many illustrations of that, where God calls us, I don't call you just my servants, which you could, but I call you my friends.

And to imagine being a friend of God, it really helps me instead of just groveling before Him for my mistakes and my errors, I see that He honestly desires my friendship.

Am I grateful and appreciative and give him honor and praise?

And so I believe that many times, and I've seen that also done when people have been trying to help people in the slums and in the project areas and help children and they give them assignments and responsibilities.

I think in my case, my dad left my mom and I when I was 5 and we were struggling.

And so moving to a small community and being able to play sports in my case really helped me because it taught me some discipline.

And believe me, I needed some discipline.

And I'll never forget, my coach was like my mentor.

And it would be good if it was his father, but sometimes it can't be.

I knew I was going to be successful and I think this was the turning point.

And so in football, I was doing okay, but 1 day we were practicing and I tackled this guy And it was a perfect tackle.

And I mean the coach, he went ballistic, you know?

And he looked over at the other coach and he goes, who is that?

And he said, well, that's O'Milligan, you know?

And so he goes out there in front of everybody and he rips my helmet off of my head and he shakes me like this.

That's what I want to see on Friday night.

And he pats me on the bottom and you know.

Now after that, how do you think I was going to play from then on?

Whole Marriages in a Broken World Part 1

Our message this morning is dealing with whole marriages in a broken world.

What we want to focus on this morning is 10 secrets to a successful marriage.

And number 1 that we want to talk about is Happiness is not the most important thing.

Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and happiness will go.

Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.

Always remember Nehemiah 8.10, the joy of the Lord is our what?

And you know, it's interesting, the reason why we use the Bible to help us in a seminar like this is because if you buy a brand new car, then somebody designed that car.

And there is a manual that goes with the car how to take care of it, right?

Well, who is the designer and the author of marriage?

So the principles that we're going to be using are derived from the Bible.

My spouse doesn't make me happy, but where should we get our happiness from?

Yeah, we should be getting it really from God.

And when our spouse lets us down and, well, I just, you know, I'm not very happy with you, that can come and go.

So we need to get our joy and our happiness from the Lord.

I just wanted to say 1 thing about number 1, and that is that every now and then in our lives, throughout my whole life, I don't know about yours, you have the rug pulled out from under you sometimes.

I mean, you can have a really good friend who you confide in and you feel like you're very close and they can hurt you.

You can be like, I never dreamed this would happen.

You just want to pull in and make sure you never get close to someone like that again and never share that much with that person again because you'll only be set up for pain.

But then there's this human need to need that friendship, you know, for me to have that girlfriend, that person that sometimes can pray with you or encourage you, and also that friendship that you have in your spouse where you can reach out to them to support you during times when you're going through a hard time.

But then sometimes things get thrown up in your face or something happens and you just feel like your whole world is turned upside down in a moment.

Or somebody shares something that they said you said something that you didn't.

I mean, have we all been fraught with those kinds of friendships and relationships, and we've been let down, and we've probably let people down as well, right?

The only way that I can have a wonderful day every day, regardless of what's going on in friendships or acquaintances, is if I have that connection with God who gives me that support and that foundation where Regardless of what's going on in friendships or acquaintances, if I have that connection with God who gives me that support and that foundation, where regardless of what's going on in my marriage or in my friendships, He's always there and he doesn't change.

I don't know what people do when they don't have that foundation with God.

Because if you're depending upon people to make you happy, you will always be hurt and always be disappointed because we are human.

Number 2, couples discover the value in just showing up.

When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse.

Time has a way of helping couples work things out.

Just listen to them, let them cry, put your arm around them and give them comfort.

Yeah, so I have a friend who shared with me recently an experience that she had.

She said, you know, I honestly wasn't feeling that well.

I just really needed to tell my husband some things that's been on my mind.

I didn't want to start a fight or an argument, but I just needed him to listen.

So generally in every relationship, you have at least 1 person who communicates best and processes life best out loud.

I need to talk things out, talk about things.

And I don't like there to be any time that goes by that we aren't okay.

And so I need to talk about it." And so this is how she is as well.

And so she said to her husband that he came in to check on her because she wasn't feeling well and he laid down on the bed and she said, can I share with you some things that have been really heavy on my heart and I just want to share them with you, but I don't want to offend you?

I just need you to listen to me and just hear me out.

Realize that some of the things that I may be saying may not necessarily be reality.

So she thought she'd done something very wise and that is to set up this conversation.

Because if you just start in right away, the other person may want to fix it or explain or become defensive, right?

But she was setting up where she was saying, you know, just really listen to me.

So she began to commence to explain how she was feeling and he got really defensive.

Because some of the things she was saying were not pleasant, right?

And she was trying to be careful, but then he ended up being annoyed, and so the way he spoke to her was kind of harsh.

And then she got harsh, because how dare he talk to her that way?

So when I was speaking with my friend, she doesn't know Jesus as intimately as I do, and I certainly haven't arrived, I'm not saying that, but she doesn't really know him like I've been privileged to know him, and I stopped her right there, And I said to her, oh, can I just comment on 1 thing you just said?

That moment when the other person just totally annoys or irritates you so you want to come back with that reptilian brain takes over, that defensiveness, or that how dare you, how could you, Why would you talk to me that way?

I said, that's where God can help us in our relationships instead of reacting to respond.

Your significant other or spouse can say something or your friend, by the way, these principles are for single people as well.

You know, we can get caught off guard and we can respond in a way that just starts the flames burning in a fire.

And she was like, yeah, I hear what you're saying because Tammy, even though I have great intentions every day when I get up that I'm only going to speak to my spouse in a loving and kind way, they may say something and it just starts.

I need God to help me to control my thoughts, my feelings, my impulses, my motives, my attitudes, but especially my impulses, how I'm going to respond or react.

So when it comes to just showing up number 2 and time as far will work things out She said at that moment.

That's when he becomes discouraged and says how will this relationship even work?

And think about this everybody, because this is so true.

When it's good, it's really good, but when it's bad, it's awful.

Series

Whole Marriages in Broken World

Whole Marriages in a Broken World Part 1

Transcript

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Fresh Manna By Darryl Bently

Who is My Neighbor?

40m

Fresh Manna By Garhett Morgan

To the Unknown God

30m

Daniel

Daniel Chapter 6: The Praying Man

50m

Fresh Manna By Philip Mills

The Personal Christ

34m

Daniel

Daniel Chapter 4: The Lowliest of Men

57m

Gideon

A Fleece Woven in Fear

37m

Fresh Manna by Moise Ratsara

When God Meets You

47m

Fresh Manna By Raymond Holmes

My Father and I

46m

Fresh Manna By Farai Nhiwatiwa

True Freedom

36m

Through the Bible

Matthew: Behold Your King

40m

Fresh Manna By Fred Calkins

Abraham: Believe the Promise

32m

Fresh Manna By Darryl Bently

Effective and Fervent

51m

Sound Doctrine