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Advent HOPE Sabbath School

Healing From Bad Religion and Church Hurt

Dee Casper

Sarah Casper

It's been a little while since I've been here, and it's good to see some familiar faces and to see some new faces as well.

We bring you greetings from the great state of Pennsylvania.

It is cooler there than it is here, So we're also enjoying a little bit of temperature change.

As Lucy mentioned, we have the awesome opportunity to work with the CORE Discipleship Program.

For those who don't know, it's a nine-month discipleship and evangelism training program, kind of empowering young adults and adults alike to own their faith, find their calling, and to give them tools to change the world around them.

And so they're learning how to give personal Bible studies, how to do literature evangelism, health evangelism, cross-cultural missions.

We have a big emphasis on mental health and practical Christianity and public speaking as well.

And if you're not able to commit 9 months, we have a 5 month option for you that starts in January and goes through the month of May.

And then we're also gonna have an online option available soon, but right now our 3 Angels Messages class is available for free.

And so if you'd like to get a taste for what the CORE program is about, what our curriculum covers, you can do that for free.

And we're going to be expanding our CORE online library over the next year or so, so we're excited about that.

And our website is coreevangelism.com if you'd like to know more information about what we do and how you can get involved.

But what we'll be covering this evening is the topic of healing from bad religion and church hurts.

So that's kind of the title for this evening's message.

Tomorrow we'll deal with our need of counseling in ways that maybe you don't think.

Not everyone needs a therapist per se, but we're gonna deal with that topic tomorrow.

Kind of why we believe the stuff that we believe that's so harmful and hurtful.

And then tomorrow afternoon, we're going to open up for questions and answers about this topic of bad religion and church hurt, how to navigate that.

So if you have questions about these topics, We're going to address those, have a short little segment of thoughts that we'll share with you, and then we'll go into actually addressing questions and whatnot.

So that's kind of our trajectory for the weekend.

I, yeah, I almost said I acquired you since I was here last, but that sounds quite not what we intended.

Anyway, we got married since I was here last and I'm stoked about that.

So yeah, let's kind of talk about this big picture of bad religion in particular.

And so, yeah, what are some examples of bad religion?

Maybe just unhealthy thought patterns or misunderstandings of God.

Maybe seeing pictures, you know, like you see like televangelists or people who are like getting super rich, you send me your money, God will bless you.

Maybe you've been pistol whipped with the Bible of the spirit of prophecy by well-intended people, forms of spiritual abuse, being told what you ought to be, you better be, or else, kind of bad pictures or misrepresentations of God, right, is largely what we're talking about in that sense.

And so, yeah, let's kind of go into God's perspective on this.

So I'll kind of do the brief little short Bible study, then I want to pass the time over to Sarah to share some thoughts on that.

So I'd like to go into scripture briefly just to kind of give you a picture of where God stands on this issue.

So if you'd like to go to Ezekiel chapter 36, I need to update my slides here, but go to Ezekiel chapter 36, and we're gonna read verses 22 and 23.

Ezekiel chapter 36, and verses 22 and 23.

Therefore say to the house of Israel, thus says the Lord God, I do not do this for your sake, O house of Israel, but for my holy name's sake, which you have profaned among the nations wherever you went.

And I will sanctify my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst, and the nations shall know that I am the Lord, says the Lord God, when I am hallowed before their eyes.

All right, so this is really important because how many people in this room are frustrated by bad religion or have a problem with bad religion?

When people are claiming to know God and misrepresent Him and hurt other people.

How many people in this room have a problem with that?

I hope every hand is gonna go up, not just to make me happy because it's like bad and stuff.

So here in Ezekiel 36, God's missional plan was to reach the world through the nation of Israel.

That's what he wanted to do, that through the teachings and example of the nation of Israel, the surrounding nations would be like, man, these people got it together.

The God that they worship makes sense and is awesome.

But is that what happened according to Ezekiel 36?

They caused the surrounding nations to hate God instead of leading them to love God and to want to serve Him.

That God is actually upset by bad religion being manifest by people who are claiming to know him, but are misrepresenting him.

And I really hope you understand that and really kind of internalize this.

God is even more upset about it than you are because they're misrepresenting Him, right?

Now let's look at Jesus' perspective on bad religion, and this is in Acts chapter 26, where the apostle Paul is telling his testimony to King Agrippa.

Acts chapter 26, and I'm just going to read quickly here, verses 12 to 18, and listen to what he says.

And by the way, Paul has this radical conversion experience, and it's a beautiful experience, but what was he like before Jesus got a hold of him?

He was a beautiful poster child of what bad religion looks like, persecuting and lashing out at people who don't believe like I believe.

And so this is what happens now as he has this encounter in verse 12.

While thus occupied as I journeyed to Damascus with authority and commission from the chief priest at midday, O king along the road, I saw light from heaven brighter than the sun shining around me and those who journeyed with me.

And when we'd all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice speaking to me and saying in the Hebrew language, Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting my people?

Did Saul of Tarsus have an arrest warrant for Jesus of Nazareth?

So why is it that Jesus says, why do you persecute me if Saul's really persecuting Christians?

Matthew 25, what you've done to the least of these, you've also done to me.

So notice here, whose side is Jesus sympathizing with?

The bad religionist harming other people in the name of religion, or those who were harmed by bad religion?

He says, you're persecuting me when you persecute them.

He says, it's hard for you to kick against the goads.

And he says a second time, I'm Jesus whom you are persecuting.

We Need Counseling

All right, so as was mentioned in the introduction, thank you, Lucy, we have the privilege, my wife and I, of working with a core discipleship and evangelism training program, giving people a space to figure out why they believe what they believe, how to own their faith experience, how to figure out what God has made them for, and to mobilize them into the vineyard to do that work, to do ministry.

And not everyone who comes to CORE goes into full-time ministry, but they're now better rooted to be able to share their faith in the workplace, to be an active participant in the local church and so forth.

If you'd like to know more information, our website is coreevangelism.com, and it's not just for young adults, it's for all age groups 18 and over.

And we also have Core Online as an option where you can take our classes online if you can't be there in person.

And we are offering our 3 Angels Messages class for free so even broke college students can afford it, amen?

And so it's free, you can take our 3 Angels Messages class And if you like that, then we're rolling out over the next year or 2, more content that you can be able to buy in smaller portions.

Many times these like other online training programs, you're doing like hundreds of hours worth of content, it gets discouraging and you quit.

So we're giving it in like small bite-sized chunks.

Do you know what the mental health, evangelism, righteousness by faith, theology, Daniel and Revelation, the sanctuary, health evangelism, the whole gamut, right?

When you go to the website, the first banner that pops up is actually that free offer for CORE Online.

And if you want to support people, maybe you can't come, but you'd like to support students and being able to have this life transforming experience as you heard in the video, then you also can donate on the site there.

Okay, so my job this morning is to convince you that you need counseling.

I almost gave this message, I'll tell you later.

But I want to reflect upon, Sarah and I last night addressed the topic of bad religion and church hurt, and finding healing from that, and understanding that just because people who claim to know God did hurtful things does not mean that God signs off on that.

But the question still remains, why is it so attractive?

Like, why is it that so many people get caught up in versions of Adventism and Christianity that are so gross and hurtful and damaging.

Like it's definitely not attractive on the other end of it, right?

By receiving bad religion, but for some reason it draws lots of people in to be channels of bad religion.

Why do we believe this stuff and why is it attractive to us?

That's the point for this morning's message.

The psychology behind why we fall into certain belief systems and what void those beliefs are filling.

I have an idea actually, I'm just kidding.

God in heaven, I thank you for this privilege to reflect upon Bible truth.

And I just pray that the straight testimony of the true witness would speak to our hearts, that you would open our eyes to our true condition and that you would speak truth into the inward parts.

Lord, I know that these people need something that I can't provide them, but I know that you can.

And so I just ask that you would keep me from getting in the way, and that this would be clear, biblical, and helpful.

Isaiah chapter 9, verse 6 says, For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulder.

And his name will be called Wonderful." And then what do they call him?

Counselor, mighty God, everlasting father, prince of peace.

And when I looked up the original language for this, it means counselor, advisor, 1 who gives advice and direction with the implication that the advice given is wise and valuable.

How many people have ever been the victim of receiving unsolicited advice?

Somebody giving, here's what you need to do.

I don't know where this is coming from, right?

So unsolicited advice is not really that helpful.

If this is something that's wise and valuable counsel and advice.

Revelation chapter 3 picks up on this idea in verse 14.

And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write.

Now, I'm not going to give you a treatise on church history in Revelation and how to follow the seals, trumpets, and all of that and the vials, but The Seventh Church in Revelation is speaking about us right now.

Ellen White, the founder of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, 1 of the founders, as early as 1852, diagnosed the Advent movement as being in a Laodicean condition.

That's 11 years before we became officially the Seventh-day Adventist Church, and that was already in our system.

To the angel of the church of Laodiceans, right?

These things says the amen, and then what do they call him?

The faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God.

I know your works, he says, that you were neither cold nor hot.

So then, because you're lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of my mouth." Now, the counselor here in Revelation 3 is bearing witness to the true condition of the things in this church in Revelation 3.

I see that you're working, but you aren't fully bought in on the things that matter, and you're hot and bothered about the things that aren't as important.

This is part of the problem for the church, as Matthew Henry comments on this, 1 of the commentators.

He says, if religion is worth anything, it's worth everything.

How many professors of gospel doctrine are neither hot nor cold, except as they are indifferent in needful matters and hot and fiery in disputes about things of lesser moment." Anyone convicted already?

They would give a false opinion of Christianity as if it were an unholy religion.

So the result of bad religion is making people think that it's an unholy religion.

While others would conclude it could afford no real satisfaction.

Otherwise, its professors would not have been heartless in it.

That if we kind of share and disperse this picture of bad religion, it's not really doing much for you either, right?

Because you're miserable and you're getting on to me for lesser matters, so why would I want what you have?

You understand the connection he's making here?

And or so ready to seek pleasure or happiness from the world.

1 cause of this indifference and inconsistency in religion is self-conceit and self-delusion, because thou sayest.

What a difference, and he's quoting from Revelation 3, we'll come back to that in a second.

What a difference between their thoughts of themselves and the thoughts that Christ had of them.

Notice, this church in Revelation chapter 3 thinks they're in 1 condition, but Jesus knows they're in a very different condition.

Let us beg of God that we may not be left to flatter and deceive ourselves.

Professors grow proud as they become carnal and formal.

They were poor, really poor, when they said and thought that they were rich.

They could not see their state nor their way nor their danger, yet they thought they saw it." This is the thing that's so dangerous.

You think you know yourself and Jesus is saying you really don't.

You need an external, objective source of truth that can help you see where you really are.

But we're told this, happy are those who take his counsel, for all others must perish in their sins.

Christ lets them know where they might have true riches and how they might have them.

Case Studies and Q&A

We're gonna finish off kind of where we were addressing some things this morning on the topic of we need counseling.

We just want to kind of tie up with some remaining leftover content we wanted to address here.

God, thank you for this chance to reflect upon ways in which we can grow as a movement and just as Christians.

So I pray that your spirit would guide this conversation and it would guide the Q and A that takes place at the conclusion of this.

All right, What we have to share is less than a typical sermon, by the way, so it's not like a long sermon and then Q&A.

We're just gonna kind of address some things here and then go into the questions right from there.

So 1 of the things that can arise out of environments where bad religion is taking place is something called scrupulosity or spiritual OCD.

It's basically a form of hypersensitivity to issues of morality, right?

So someone may feel like they have to repent like 50 times over the same thing because it wasn't quite good enough, or they've got to go give a Bible study or God's going to be mad with them.

This kind of like internal mechanism in their way of thinking that it's not just like, well, this is something God probably wants me to do.

If I don't do this, there's going to be severe consequences if not.

It's kind of this type of framework, and it can literally ruin someone's life and religious experience if it's not brought into check.

And many times it's found in the more conscientious in nature who grow up in more morally focused environments.

There's actually a website created by an Adventist to address this issue and to help people.

The website is scrupulosity.com, S-C-R-U-P-O-L-I-S-I-T-Y.com.

And it's an Adventist missionary who went through this themself, and she is now committed to doing a ministry that helps people overcome this, because it could be quite serious.

And counseling for many times is recommended for people in this scenario?

I was just gonna say, in addition to this, or maybe to preface this in a way, we'll talk about some different forms of thought distortions, and I think it's really important to tune into the fact that if you understand what people are dealing with or that many of these distortions are caused by trauma or pain root cause issues, it really draws compassion out of our souls toward these people instead of hatred or like, oh, this church member sucks or this pastor is being abusive or whatever it is.

While all of those things are not okay, we can also lean on compassion in the fact that there is trauma and things that occurred that caused people to think in these ways.

Yeah, these are usually the result of adverse experiences.

And so imagine if something happened, if you did something that made you feel a significant amount of shame, I'm thinking of someone's story right now who they encountered something in their life that caused them a severe amount of shame.

And as a result of that, their scrupulosity or spiritual OCD began to show up because the idea was, I'm never going to let that happen again.

And so now they're parsing their whole life with like, oh, but if I say this, is that being dishonest?

Like, it's not just like having a sense of having a moral compass or wanting to make ethical decisions, it's on like a far extreme obsessive side of the aisle, if that makes sense, and can be quite debilitating for a lot of people, especially when you think, I have to do all these things.

If you already have an anxious mindset, I have to do these things or God is just going to completely be done with me and cast me off and so forth can be quite traumatic.

I wanted to cover some case studies of some people in this idea of bad religion as well.

How many people have ever heard of the book, I Kiss Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris?

So yeah, this book, I was actually re-watching the TED Talk I alluded to last night.

He has a TED Talk called Strong Enough to be Wrong, And it's incredibly fascinating.

And in this moment of Josh's experience, I feel like he was really starting to figure some things out and has some profound observations.

There may be a few things I would disagree with, but largely I appreciated what he shared.

But he basically was 21, I think, when he wrote that book and had been in 1 serious relationship.

But that book became the Bible for relationships for many conservative evangelical homeschool families and so forth in the late 90s and early 2000s and carried on afterwards.

And many times, so Sarah alluded to this in her story a bit, that when fear is the bedrock of the way that we do religion, it can get us in trouble.

And so many parents were afraid that their kids would get in unhealthy relationships, go and do the worldly dating routes, right?

And so forth and have sex before marriage and whatever.

They were really wanting to get this book so their kids wouldn't have a bad relationship experience.

But the problem is, Josh admits later, he wrote that book largely in a fear frame of mind, and that fear was transferred into the readers.

And so readers were super anxious and uneasy about relationships, and so it ended up causing a lot of harm.

Yeah, and then their overall view of spirituality because it kind of gave this overall money-back guarantee.

If you just follow this recipe, you're gonna have a great marriage, you're not gonna have problems, you have an amazing sex life and so forth, but the problem is you're getting 2 sinful human beings and they're yoking their lives together, there is no money back guarantee.

Right, like we believe in free will and so forth, and so there are risks, like love requires risks by definition, right, Because love requires freedom.

And so the way in which he packaged this set a lot of people up for a heartbreak and then their view of God and faith completely imploded because they trusted this area of their life to God and then the relationship didn't work.

People thinking I'm gonna marry the first person I date and so forth, then their spirituality suffers as a result of that, right?

So there were lots of outworkings that as a 21-year-old who'd been in 1 relationship, those things weren't taken into account, that there's nuance in how these things actually operate.

And so for him, he came from an environment in his kind of corner of the faith world, and it's pretty common in conservative environments, that we are so focused on standing for the right that unintentionally our identity can be interwoven with being right.

And the danger for this is if somebody challenges or shows certain things that you believe to be in error, it's an existential threat to you at the identity level because your identity is tied to being right.

And this put Josh in a bit of a spiral because for a long time, people are just haters if they don't like my book and whatever.

But the problem was he came to realize that while he'd left, he was pastoring a big church in Virginia and then transferred to go back to college to get higher education.

And as he did that, while he was in that season of life, this woman sent him a comment on Twitter saying that, "'Your book was used against me like a weapon.'" And instead of just counting her off as a hater as he normally would, for whatever reason, he chose to listen and have compassion.

And from that back and forth, it's basically a transition to direct messages and talking through and hearing her story, she said, you're the only religious leader I have ever met who has apologized for getting anything wrong.

And he realized something's very wrong here.

And on top of that, she said, you're the only person in a religious authoritative position who's ever taken interest to even hear my story and to acknowledge the losses I've incurred." And this meant so much to her and it started to really challenge him.

This isn't just an avatar because at the same time he's going to college and his classmates have a similar experience.

There were people who were blessed by his books, not that it was all cursings, but he would rather hide with the people who agreed with him than actually listen to the people who didn't.

And that came from the environment he grew up with, and there's an existential threat.

If I acknowledge I'm wrong in any form, right, Then my identity is at stake here.

So he eventually made a documentary of him working through this journey of hearing people's stories who were hurt by his book and how to work through it.

He opened up his website, let them send their comments, and it was difficult for him.

The documentary is for free, it's on YouTube.

It's called, I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

No, but it's quite thought-provoking, different points that are brought out, where purity culture came from, what it was in response to, and so forth.

And anyway, what eventually happened, Josh was in this kind of difficult valley and journey, and eventually as he started to kind of question certain things he believed, because he didn't have a solid foundation at the identity level of just a relationship with an intimate relationship with Jesus.

Eventually he found himself separated from his wife because he was challenged in his faith journey.

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Series

Healing From Bad Religion and Church Hurt

Healing From Bad Religion and Church Hurt

Transcript

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

Healing From Bad Religion and Church Hurt

Case Studies and Q&A

1h 12m

Flip the Script

03 Questions for Healing: How the Bible Answers the “Why” of Suffering

1h 6m

The Renewing of Our Minds

2. Roots of Distorted Thinking

1h 16m

Healing From Bad Religion and Church Hurt

We Need Counseling

55m

Seminars

The Reach of Faith

1h

Bible Buts & Band-aids: How to Apply God’s Word for Trauma Healing

Conceal and Seal: The Invisible Wounds of Trauma

28m

A Word in Season

1h 2m

GYC 2011 Seminar: Healing from Sexual Brokenness

Call It Anything But Love, Part 2

1h

Reasons for Hope: The Case for Faith in a Secular Age

Reasons for Hope: The Case for Faith in a Secular Age - Part 4

1h 12m

Rethinking Mental Health In Evangelism

54m

Sound Doctrine