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Beautiful Minds Wellness

Amanda Anguish

K'dee Elsen Crews

The Brain People Podcast 2023

Maintaining Habits and Reaching Goals

Daniel Binus

Allen Lloyd

Factors that Contribute to Mental Illness

Gratitude

Karla Velasco

Smart Goals

Rebecca Wong

The Connection Between Creativity and Mental Health

Forgiveness

Language Around Mental Health

Benefits of Senior Peer Counseling

Compassion Fatigue

Core Beliefs Pt. 1

Resentment

Core Beliefs Pt. 2

Charinette Gamboa

ADHD


Welcome to the Brain People podcast, a show where 4 mental health experts team up to bring you practical tools for overcoming mental health challenges. The Brain people don't replace your doctor or therapist, but we will give you some extra tools to help you on your journey. So join us as we fight mental illness, 1 episode at a time. Welcome, everyone to the Brain People podcast. I'm Amanda and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and I'm joined here with my guest.

Carla Velasco. Okay, Carla, welcome. And Carla, tell us what you do. I'm a life coach. Okay, and what does a life coach do you say different from a therapist because I know sometimes people have questions about what's a life coach?

Yeah, so a life coach is basically moving forward in people's lives. They often say in the counseling relationship, the expert is the counselor and they're looking to resolve their past. While a life coach, in that relationship, the client is the expert and we're looking into moving into their future and how to help them get there. Okay, so maybe if we could say it, a therapist helps with all the other stuff and then helps them get ready for maybe with life coaching going forward and making those lifestyle changes and things that they want to do. Yes, definitely.

And sometimes it could be a good idea to have a life coach while they're seeing a therapist because a therapist might be, you know, giving them goals or things to implement that they might need help with and that's something that a coach can do. Yeah, and I know you and I actually do work together, and so I do often transition people to you because maybe they've gotten through some of the mental stuff, and now they just need to work on taking that first step forward in their life and everything like that. So we appreciate you for sure. But today we're actually going to talk about something that you do as a life coach. I do this sometimes too and everything, but We're going to talk about goals and setting goals, making goals, achieving your goals and everything.

But we're going to talk a little bit about an acronym that we often use. And what is that acronym? It's SMART. Smart. Who doesn't want to be smart?

Okay, so SMART, it is an acronym, so each 1 stands for something. Let's go through each of the letters. What does the S stand for? The S stands for specific. Okay, and what does that mean?

Like if in terms of setting a goal, what does it mean to be specific? Because sometimes we make all kinds of goals and yeah, what is that? Yeah, specific, you know, you could be like when you want to do something, there's so many things you could do. And being my type of personality, it's like, oh yeah, I wanna jump into this and jump into that. But being more specific, it helps us to actually have a visual or have something that we're really aiming towards versus just being out, you know, where it's just general.

Okay, so what would be an example of a specific goal that you would make with your client or they would make with you? Yeah, so sometimes I know you're the boundary woman. So, I actually have a client who, you know, we've been working on learning how to set boundaries. Okay. So it's like I want to set boundaries with a certain family member.

Oh, nice. Okay. So it's that specific. Okay. So is, would we even get as specific as to say what boundary we want to set to?

Sure. Okay, because I know sometimes when you and I are in our treatment team meetings and stuff like that, that we often do because you do work with some of my clients as well. I know sometimes people will say things like, oh I need to exercise, but they're not specific about what kind of exercise they want to do, or they're not specific about how they're going to exercise. So if I said I wanted to exercise, how would you help me make that more specific? Yeah, so we would start, okay, what does your exercise look like, right?

Let's think about the how, what, when, you know, all these, the 5. Who, what, when, where, how, why. Yes, thank you for helping me. So it's like, oh, what is it? Exercise?

Okay, what kind of exercise? I like to swim, Carla, so. Great. Okay. And how often do you want to swim or how long?

I'm not really sure because I haven't done it in a while, so I don't know. What do you think would be good? I'm not sure like what it would be good specific. So this might be going into the other letters in our acronym, but do you have a pool? You want to start off by asking yourself those questions.

So is that something that's accessible to you? Oh yeah, yeah. I have a pool, or at least I could find a pool or something like that, or get a gym membership or something like that. So being specific as to what kind of exercise I want to do. Okay, cool.

So then the next letter is the M. We know how to spell. Yes, for measurable. Okay, measurable. And so how would I take that swimming and turn it into not just a specific but a measurable goal.

So then you're going to say, well, how often do I want to swim? Okay. How many days a week? You know, and yes. So because by measuring it, you get to identify, you know, the progress.

You want to be able to have some sort of quantity, right? Be able to, I keep saying measurable. Well, and I think, I think it's good that we recognize measurable because sometimes we, how do you know if you've fulfilled your goal if you never gave yourself a specific and measurable amount? So if I said I was going to do 30 minutes a day, how do I know if I completed that goal? Except I said, well, I was going to do it 30 minutes a day so if I do it for 30 minutes then I met my goal.

Yes exactly and sometimes you know you can have a chart or something to like keep track of that. Okay so we have specific, measurable, what's the A stand for? Achievable. Okay, so I want to be like Michael Phelps. I'm just kidding.

So what does achievable mean? Achievable, you know, you want to make sure that it's something that you know you could reach but still also giving you that space for improvement. So like a stretch? Yes, like exactly, you know, having Michael Phelps, you know, expectations of swimming when we haven't grown up swimming, it's not going to be a good, you know, you're going to fail. So I can't go to the Olympics next year?

Sorry. That's okay. That's realistic. So we have specific, measurable, achievable, and then what does the R stand for? Relevant.

Okay, so what does that have to do with making like a swimming goal or something? Yeah, so it, you know, like it has to mean something to you. It has to be important to you. And sometimes when we don't, we can't identify with something, it's harder to get results because it's, you know, it's not important at all. Yeah, I think that that relevant 1 is a key 1 because sometimes like we see people who come in And they're making a goal that someone else wants them to do, but that's not really important to them.

So maybe starting with something that actually is relevant to them, something that they want, is a good way to start with that too. Yeah, and then also, you know, realizing that even when we have a goal, it could be relevant to us. And we might want to, you know, it really does matter to us, but we want to jump and leap. And, you know, understanding that we also have to kind of be realistic, right? That's another way that they also use this letter.

Yeah. Where it has to be realistic that we are able to not just... Because then it's going to be defeating if we don't. Yeah. Now, 1 of the things that we were discussing too is like avoiding temptations and that having to do with relevance or being relevant.

What is, what are your thoughts on that 1? So it's, you know, when you're focusing on your temptations and it's gonna be really easy to fall into them but when you're focusing on the why right why it's important to me why I'm doing this why I want to venture into completing this goal then that's that will make it stronger right so that's true because I think a lot of people have trouble actually fulfilling their goals or succeeding at their goals because they're focused so much on what they're losing versus what they're gaining out of having that goal and everything. And so if we focus on the relevance of it, like this is gonna help me be closer to my family, or it's gonna help me have physical abilities that I'd like to continue with my grandchildren 1 day and stuff versus not being able to do those things. That relevancy when you're constantly keeping that focus and stuff that really helps you achieve your goal. Okay, so the last 1, the T.

Time bound. So you want to have a time to know this is when I'm going to achieve it, or I'm giving myself 2 weeks, a month, or whatever that time frame is, but at least you know that there's a time where you're going to check in with yourself and see where you're at. Nice, yeah, I think, I know I read some research just recently that said that if you don't start something like today, so many people say, oh, I'm gonna wait until New Year's to start my resolution. Well, if you wait that long, we're like halfway into the year right now as we're doing this podcast. If I waited 6 more months to start my resolution, why would I ever accomplish it?

I'd probably forget about it in the first place. So being time bound and more importantly like having it be soon or at least starting now like this moment versus waiting that time bound gives us that perspective of like this is when I want it done. Yes. Mm-hmm. Totally.

Awesome. Okay so we've talked about specific and I think I also read some research too, was specific that said depressed people, the more specific they make their goals, the better they wind up improving their depression and stuff. So that's important. Then we talked about measurable and I think with measurable we want to make sure that we're frequently monitoring how we're doing too because that also improves our commitment to the goals. Achievable was the A, was the R, relevant or realistic.

We also mentioned that 1. You can have a couple different ones for that. And then time bound, and that has to do with like making sure their deadlines and specific to a certain amount of time and everything like that. I think another thing that I would add to this too that a lot of people don't often think about too is that in order to follow through with our goals, that we need to have boundaries with them. And you did mention that because I do like boundaries.

But sometimes we have to make our goals considerate of how other people might affect us when we're making those goals, and also how we might affect ourselves. If we're not specific to these SMART goals, I said specific, that's part of it too, but if we don't take into consideration these things, then we actually have a harder time, you know, sticking to our goals because we haven't had healthy boundaries with ourselves and with other people. So this is a really good way of helping us have those boundaries. We're making them specific, we're making them measurable, we're making them achievable, relevant, and time bound. And yeah.

Yeah, and what's awesome is that if you're seeing that the smart goal that you set up is not working, you can always revisit and adjust to something that's gonna help you. And what is amazing is that when we start applying this, you start seeing people's confidence grow. You know, and seeing like, wow, I could actually do something. And it could be a tiny little step, but it's feeding into the confidence of your ability to be able to set a goal and achieve it. Yeah, so another thing I think people might be interested in is what about short-term versus long-term SMART goals?

Because sometimes we don't think too much about, we think about the long-term goals like I want to run a marathon, I know you ran a marathon, But what were the short-term SMART goals that you had to make in order to reach that long-term SMART goal? So it's interesting because my marathon experience was a short 1. 0 really? Yes, I was running with, you know, in my community there was a run me and I was joining them in the summer and I was going weekly And you know, they usually when you have these groups you usually meet for like a Christmas gathering or something like that and they were talking about running the marathon. And so I was like, wow, I don't really care about it too much.

But then they said when it was going to be on March 19th. And I was like, wait, that's my birthday. And my 30th birthday. And so I was like— Oh, that's a big deal. Yeah, so then it became very important, very relevant to me.

Relevant to you. Because now I'm like, Whoa, that must be a sign that I'm supposed to run this thing because it's right on my birthday. And it's a great way to welcome my 30s. Yeah. So I said, I want to do this.

And that was in December. Oh wow. So yeah, so I said I have a month and a half of training, really, because I got hurt. But you know, then I was I was specific. This is going to be I want to run a marathon.

It's going to be on March 19th, I'm going to meet, you know, what's, how am I going to measure this, I'm going to meet with my group meets, not only the 1 in my community, but what are other group meets that I could join, because I know that by myself I can't. I don't have that motivation to do it. I think that's another thing that helps people too is knowing that you're doing it with other people having accountability. Exactly and so that's what you know I joined every group meet that I could possibly can in LA County and it was wonderful. So then someone told me, you should do a half marathon just to prepare, just so that it's not a total complete shock when you get there.

So I did that in February and it was just, you know, it all happened. And at that time I wasn't like specifically doing a smarkle, but all the letters were there. You realize that. Yes. So what was the specific part of it?

Like let's break it down. So the specific part was running a marathon. Running a marathon. The LA marathon, right? So that means 26.2 miles.

So just in case you didn't know, that's very specific. 26.2 miles. Okay, so you're running 26.2 miles, and then how about the measurable part? It's, you know, okay, I know that weekly I'm gonna be running 4 to 5 times a week. And how am I gonna, and I'm gonna join the group meets, because that makes it easier for me right to make it measurable and so I know people know I'm getting a ride from someone we're carpooling sometimes it wasn't that close to my home you know but that's the measurable part.

And I guess the measurable part too is the actual distance is what you're doing. The distance, exactly, or the time spent. So it's usually like 3 miles, 5 miles, and then there was once a week you had 1 where it was longer. Okay. So that was the measurable part.

And I think that's important for us to know that we have to have a measurable amount, whether it's time. So like if you're not running a marathon, but you need something measurable, like I'm going to eat my vegetables like 3 meals a day. So I'm going to eat fruits or veggies at breakfast. I'm going to eat a fruit or a veggie at lunch, or I'm going to eat a fruit or veggie at dinner time. That's the 3 times that I'm doing.

That's measurable. I know I'm doing it when I'm doing it. Okay. How about the A? What did you do for the A, achievable?

So you know I've, I never ran a marathon and running wasn't a thing for me before that summer. So maybe you're not the perfect example for this? No, I just, you have the ability though. Yes, but I was running and I went from like running just half a mile to running 10 miles without stopping. Oh wow.

And then I realized, well I have hiking in my background. I've done 18 miles in a day, So pushing myself to 26.2 doesn't seem far off. Okay, okay. That sounds good. How about relevant?

Relevant. It was important to me. I wanted to welcome my 30s in a different way and this was the perfect opportunity. Okay, yeah. I could figure that that was important, even if it wasn't initially important when you learned the date of it, that became very relevant, okay?

And then how about time bound? There was a set date for it, right? March 19th, I won't say the year. But I think too with the time bound is, and this might be part of the measurable too, that you were running a certain distance every day building up to that. And so it might have started out with a couple miles at first in the first week.

What was it? You had 6 weeks that you were roughly doing this. So I was already doing 5 miles. Okay, so you started with like 5 miles and then like the second week did you go up to? Well, that's the thing.

I wasn't planning on it, right? Until after... I was already running beforehand, but I wasn't planning on running. So when I ran, then it became more, you know, specific. Okay, so when you knew you were going to do it, then you started getting very specific and time bound to it and everything.

1 of the things that I would mention too in the achievable portion, it was achievable for me because even though it was just a month and a half of training, I wasn't looking to run a 5 mile marathon. I mean a 5 hour marathon. Yeah. You know, I was just trying to complete it. Okay, well and that's good too.

I think that that's also relevant because sometimes people, if they feel like, oh I've got to do this, you know, in a certain amount of time, then that would be maybe not important to me, but if I just have to finish it, that might be okay. I could do that. That's relevant to me. And I'm not trying to get a medal out of this. Yeah.

Did you get a medal at all? I did, but I didn't set a record. Oh okay, did they give them just for participating? Yes. Oh nice.

Yeah. And a t-shirt I'm sure too. Awesome. That can be relevant for some people, they'll do anything for like a t-shirt and a medal. Well that's cool, well I'm really impressed that you did that.

I can't say I've ever done a marathon or even close to that, but it hasn't been relevant to me. So That's awesome though that you found a way to make that relevant to you. And I think anybody out there who's listening to this, you know, you don't have to think of yourself in terms of running a marathon or doing something like that. But maybe relevant to you is, you know, I bought a pair of shorts a couple years ago and I don't fit into them and I really love them and I want to be able to fit into them. Or maybe maybe family's relevant to you and that's why you want to do something.

But we can all find a reason to commit to a goal, and we can all find even renewed reasons why to commit to these goals and stuff, and then we can use the SMART acronym to continue to follow through until we are successful at them. And so, well I want to thank you Carla for joining me here and talking about smart goals. I think a lot of people out there are going to be a lot smarter now that they know about smart goals. And we'll just continue to, you know, cheer them on as they work on those goals. And so, thanks for joining me today.

And if you only take 1 thing away from today's show, remember this. If mental illness is a whole person problem, then it must have a whole person solution. I'm Amanda Anguish. I'm Carla. And you've been listening to The Brain People Podcast.

Thank you. ♪♪♪ Thanks for listening. To hear more episodes, find us on social media, or support us financially, visit thebrainpeoplepodcast.com.

Back to Menu

Series

The Brain People Podcast 2023

Smart Goals

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

Other Teachings in Series

Maintaining Habits and Reaching Goals

28m

Factors that Contribute to Mental Illness

33m

Gratitude

33m

Smart Goals

22m

The Connection Between Creativity and Mental Health

29m

Forgiveness

28m

Language Around Mental Health

34m

Benefits of Senior Peer Counseling

27m

Compassion Fatigue

38m

Core Beliefs Pt. 1

28m

Resentment

31m

Core Beliefs Pt. 2

38m

ADHD

30m

Sound Doctrine