GYC Africa 2024 Conference: ONE

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GYC Africa

Mental Health

Rose Misati

Mental Health 1

Mental Health 2

I would want to know before we talk about the topic for the afternoon, I mean it's related anyway, I don't know if there's anybody here who had a concern or a question in the morning that we were not able to get to.

Maybe there's something you want to get out of the way.

You may even have reflected over RIT at lunchtime and you want to talk about it, because mental health, it's a wide topic.

So we are just touching the tip of the iceberg.

And I think it's good when I hear from you, I can know the area that you would want me to talk about something that is going to be very practical, that is going to benefit you.

Anybody maybe has anything they want to get out of the way?

Perhaps I can just talk about, oh yeah, yeah, please go ahead.

In fact, we were even talking about it over lunch hour with the other facilitators, And it's a mental health issue as well.

And we were saying how it's so difficult for a church and even as families for us to unpack.

But like for me, I have handled so many cases and even people who are married, LGBTQ, who come and they need help.

And I know that you've asked a good question in terms of how does it relate to a healthy family?

You know, is it the case when you're raised in a certain family setup, is that the case, you know?

Because I know at some point when I was talking about it in a church, and it was streamed live on Facebook and I think on YouTube, people called me demonic.

Even for you, they don't even talk about it.

But I know in our family life, the resource packet, if you go to the resource packet for the family life week in April, 1 of the seminars we were meant to do in our churches was on homosexuality.

I don't know whether any of your church they tackled it.

There was a seminar material like that because they were saying it's something we can no longer bury our heads under the sand.

So I will be very happy to talk about it at the end.

What we want to talk about on this part, then we can now generally talk about any arising issues.

So we were talking about how to help somebody who is living with a mental illness or maybe they have a mental illness, it can be a family member, it can be a friend.

Because especially if it's a family member, like a partner.

First of all, let me even, before I go there, if now, because all of you are young people, if you are a young person and you have somebody struggling with a mental health issue, they're going through a mental health crisis, that is not the time for you to propose to them.

That is not the time to approach them for a relationship, because at that point, they are vulnerable.

If somebody is struggling with their mental health, that's not the time for you to marry them so that you can take care of them.

Please let us move out of evangelistic marriages.

You do not, you know, marrying somebody who is struggling with a crisis, it's like going to ICU, you get somebody from, I'm speaking in Swahili, you get somebody from hospital and you are marrying them.

At that point, they need therapy, they need psychiatric help.

Do not, I know people have made such mistakes.

When somebody's going through a mental health crisis, that's when you approach them, because they're very vulnerable.

At that point, you know, they are looking at you as a carer.

You're a caregiver, you're not an equal partner, okay?

So maybe they will get well and not be satisfied with their marriage.

Or When they get out of that role of needing you, you will have a problem because they needed you.

The dynamics of the relationship will change.

Many people approach me and they say, oh, I know this lady, I know this gentleman.

He's so good, he's so godly, but he's struggling with alcoholism.

It is not fair for you to marry a patient.

You don't commit to marrying somebody at that point, OK?

But if already it's a family member, maybe you're married to them, maybe they are your sibling or whatever, it is you, the 2 of you, or you as a family versus the problem.

It's not about you bringing problems here, so you have to approach it as a team.

Because even when people reach out for mental health services, even families need therapy.

Because when you have somebody struggling, you, all of you struggle, okay?

And then it's important to communicate openly and honestly.

In a lot of our families, We don't discuss issues.

Someone came, they were drunk, they insulted everybody, broke things.

Tomorrow, we just want to behave like nothing happened.

No, you have to go back and talk about it openly and clearly and just say, you know, the last time you did this and this is how I felt.

It's not that you're being less loving when you're talking about it.

Do not become an enabler or don't become a doormat.

An enabler is somebody who, I don't want to use the same word enablers, somebody who supports a person to do what they are doing, which is not healthy for them, it's not healthy for the rest of the family.

By far, most families I come across, people are enablers.

Let me give you an example of what an enabler does.

If somebody has a mental health issues, maybe an addiction, what enablers do, they will give the person money to go and drink.

Or when the person comes late, they open for them, they prepare food for them.

If they soil themselves, they vomit, they clean up after them.

They came late, they cannot go to work, they call work and they lie for them.

They say they are sick, That's why they can't come to work.

Because maybe they are afraid of their job ending and what what.

They allow a person to live in a place where they are not paying rent, they are not buying food and this is an adult.

So they are giving them a place to live without holding them accountable.

They maybe become violent and the person does not put a boundary.

You don't allow yourself to be hurt by anybody.

So if somebody is physically hurting you, you cannot stay with them in the same house.

If you continue staying, that's enabling.

So it's to say I love you so much, but when you drink or when you have a relapse and you hurt me, I am sorry.

Series

Mental Health

Mental Health 2

Transcript

Parent Series

Parent Conference

Sponsor

Recorded

Special Interests

All Your Sourdough “Need to Knows”

59m

Seminar 2

Getting Started in Your Backyard

1h 4m

Starting a Market Garden

A Bird’s-Eye View of Market Gardening

1h 3m

Evangelism and the Great Controversy

How to Share Your Personal Testimony

37m

Defeat or Victory?

50m

Home Gardening

Intro to the Home Garden & Planning

54m

Plenary

Reaching Secularized Eastern Canada

1h 23m

Plenary

Questions and Answers- Part 1

25m

Breakout 2- Chad & Fadia Kreuzer

5. Freedom and the Frontal Lobe

42m

Market Gardening Track

3 Keys to Juggling Your Market Garden Like a Pro

1h 7m

The Heavens Declare His Glory

14m

Evening Plenary

04 Spiritual Weapons for the Crisis Ahead

1h 15m

Sound Doctrine