Alane Waters

Marriage Heart to Heart

Tom Waters

Restoration International

Singleness of Mind

You know, there's nobody I'd rather spend time with than this woman right here.

There's nobody I'd rather spend time with, and we've come to enjoy a new facet of our married life.

You know, many people find it painful to be together, but we find it painful to be apart and a privilege to be together.

Well, gentlemen, Ladies, you can be included in this too.

But I'd like you to go back to your wedding day.

I'd like you to go back in your thoughts to that day when you saw your bride.

Well, I'm going to tell you what happened with me, then you can picture it however it happened with you, okay?

We were married in a very large church, big 1300 member church, and saw the aisle was very long.

And I saw those doors open in the back and my heart just began to pound.

I found the Feelings of excitement and enthusiasm and anxiety my heart was just pounding I could feel the palms on my hands starting to sweat Now my wife as we talked about this later were you feeling those kind of not at all I was so excited.

I thought he was the most wonderful man in the world.

He's the most wonderful man in the world for me.

Well, I don't want to give the wrong impression.

All those feelings I was having was not because I didn't think she was the most wonderful woman in the world.

You know, we're supposed to be brave and all these things, and I'm just standing out there wondering, can the people see my heart pounding through my shirt?

Well, it was a special, special day for us.

And we look back over that and it's nothing but beautiful memories.

It would be wonderful if I could say to you that all the words of that song became a reality from that day forward.

But as you're coming to recognize in your own experience, just because we desire to do the will of God is not enough, is it?

We've got to understand how to walk the walk and we did not understand that then.

We were very sincere, so sincere that that night, the first night of our honeymoon, we were staying at an airport hotel, getting ready to fly to the place where we were going to have our honeymoon and we started a tradition that we said we were going to do all of our married life.

To read the 1st Corinthians 13 every night together.

We're supposed to read that every day, aren't we?

You know, I understand why in the dispensation of Israel of old, they gave them a year off.

Our honeymoon only lasted for 5 days or 6 days.

A year off to adjust to moving from a mind that's operating in more of a me mode to the mind that's operating in the us mode and that's what we're going to talk about today is singleness of mind.

The reality was after the honeymoon and we both got back into work our minds were taken off and all the busyness and all the pressures and all the duties that we had to do And I thought that outside of work every extra moment of time we would just be together We would talk and we would do things and we would just have a wonderful time, and it was just exciting that was my Anticipation and that was my expectation.

I thought every moment we're not having to work, we're going to be together for the rest of our lives.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the same vision.

Now I didn't know that I didn't have that same vision then.

I wasn't intentionally having an opposite vision, but I didn't really understand myself.

And so what I found myself doing was trying to fit my new wife into my old life.

I'm just adding in a new wife into my already existing life.

Because when you're trying to fit your new wife into a lifestyle that God is really trying to get you away from and call you away from, it doesn't work very well.

And it creates a lot of hurt feelings, because in reality, as I look back at it, It took me a few months to start realizing this in our marriage, but as I looked back at it.

I was trying to Live a married life with a single lifestyle mindset And it just doesn't work very well at all What we want to talk about today is singleness of mind.

That means that our attention is to take 2 individuals and to blend them together as 1, in harmony with each other.

It's a state of being 1 to be separate from all the others.

And the difficulty that many couples go into is when they enter into the marriage relationship, they have a part of their thoughts that are married thoughts and a part of their thoughts that are very much self-focused.

It becomes me and I and my way, and the other spouse can have me and I and my way, and we find that it begins to divide instead of bringing us together into harmony.

It doesn't mean that when we come together to have the single of some mind that I have to get my wife to be like me.

That I have to get my wife to think like me.

We had to get our wives to think like we think?

I mean, when you really think about it, the reason God brings us together is because the 2 together, blended together in Him, makes a better whole, doesn't it?

At least That's the way God desires it to be That means we'll be wholly devoted in every decision that we have in our home Wholly devoted that we consider the other person We are not making decisions based on my thoughts and my way, but based on we are together as 1, blended together, heart to heart.

And we will make our decisions based on both of our understandings so that we come to an agreement.

Learning that to think in the relationship it is us, it is not me.

And that's what 1 Corinthians 13 says, Love seeketh not her own.

Now naturally it's not the way we think though, is it?

More naturally what we think is, well, if she would just do this, then I'd be happy.

If he would just do that, then things would go better.

It's still thinking of the me focus instead of the us focus.

I remember 1 day we went into town and we go into town as infrequently as we can because town is just town days because we live 65 miles from where we do our shopping, town days are very big days.

So we don't look forward to all the things that have to be accomplished in those days.

So she goes 1 place and I go another place.

I tend to like to go to the places that men would tend to like to go to more.

I don't mind going to Costco and seeing what's there in the tools.

Maybe they've got new tools out and I can look at those while she's over in the grocery section.

I don't mind going to the Walmart, but I don't really care that much about going to the grocery store.

But here on this particular day, I was sitting in the vehicle and I usually bring along things to do so that I can be efficient with my time, take along ministry correspondence or things that need to be done so that I'm sitting there and she's in the grocery store.

This particular day, the Lord just prompted me, go with your wife.

Into Super 1, that's 1 of our grocery stores there.

I mean, I just visualized myself pushing this basket around in the store.

I can be out here in the van using my time more efficiently.

Women A High Calling

Making Home Happy

I think that's what we all want for our children, isn't it?

We want them to be like their Savior, Jesus Christ.

And you know, I found that it's not enough just to want it.

We have to make decisions to be a part of accomplishing that.

And 1 of the things the Lord has shown me as a mother, is that if I want my children to be like their Savior, if I want them to desire heaven and we tell them how wonderful heaven's gonna be, then they need to experience heaven on earth in our homes.

Our homes need to be so happy that our children would rather be there than anywhere And they would rather be with us than anyone.

The Lord wants to teach us as parents how to make our homes happy.

When our homes are happy, it's because He is abiding in our hearts individually as husbands and wives and as children.

And then our homes can't be anything else but happy.

And the Spirit of God, His angels will love to be there.

Other people will want to be in our homes too.

See this little sheet that I've got some black letters in and some red letters in.

When I do my personal study, I take my time to find out what kind of a person God wants me to be individually and then as a wife and as a mother and that's my ongoing constant study a mother an educator a wife and a Christian And as I study I make little notes and from time to time I make things to put on our bulletin board And this is 1 that I put on our bulletin board Because the Lord spoke to my heart in 1 simple paragraph in the book Adventist home that just opened up my mind to areas that made it clear that I can be working in my home to make my home a happier place.

Actually there's a couple paragraphs but I'm going to read you this 1 here.

This is taken out of just 1 paragraph I'm gonna be sharing with you.

And how many of us today are satisfied with our home Presently as it is this very day in the happiness of our homes.

I know my home can be happier because I know there's still more of self that the Lord wants to rule in my heart, in my husband's heart, and in the hearts of my children.

Pleasant voices, gentle manners, sincere affection, industry, neatness, and economy.

But they are not necessarily so simple in application.

And I'm going to be sharing with you those 6 elements, or I'm going to call them ingredients of making home happy.

But before I begin, I'd like us to consider the definition of happiness.

Did you know that in God's Word, He has the definition of happiness?

We should expect to find that there, shouldn't we?

There's lots of different definitions of happiness, but the 1 I'm going to share with you today is found in the book of Psalms the very first chapter the very first and second verses and it reads thus Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly Friends for many years I walked in counsel of the ungodly.

I took up all the world's philosophy, popular Christian philosophy of what I needed to be as a wife and mother to have a happy home and it does not work.

Blessed, happy, that's what the word translates.

Happy are we, I'm going to take it out of The third person and put it into the first person plural Blessed are we when we walk not in the counsel of the ungodly nor stand in the way of sinners nor sit in the seat of the scornful But our delight is in the law of the Lord and in that law do we meditate?

Day and night that's how we will have happy homes because we are studying God's words to bring his principle and his power into our lives and we're going to find a very happy experience in that and we will begin to experience a little bit of heaven on earth, a little bit of a taste and we are going to want more and more and more of that and I pray we will never be satisfied until we are on the other side of this world to experience the happiness and its fullness in heaven.

Adventist home page 422 Here's the paragraph that the Lord put in my heart.

Pleasant voices, gentle manners, sincere affections that find expression in all the actions together with, that means in addition to, industry, neatness, and economy, make even a hovel the happiest of homes.

The Creator regards such a home with approbation.

Pleasant voices, speaking kindly 1 to another, gentle manners, sincere affections.

And they're not just these terms, but these 3 things with the industry, neatness, and economy are expressed, it says they find expression in all the actions.

Everything we do in the day, these things are expressed.

And I believe it's understood, but sometimes my mind isn't as sensitive or as keen to pick up And so the Lord impressed me that the main ingredient if we think about making home happy like We're going to make a loaf of bread.

What's the main ingredient we need to make that bread raise and do what it needs to do?

It's the active ingredient, And if we don't have yeast, we can put in all the other ingredients, but are we going to have nice, fluffy, wholesome, tasting, appetizing bread?

We're going to have a very heavy, I don't know what you're going to call it, but it really won't be too good.

The yeast, the main ingredient, which goes in to activate all the other ingredients, that the bread tastes so delightful.

There's a main ingredient mixed with these 6 things that result in happy homes.

This is what the Lord told me it was in my thoughts.

I can have all obedience or maybe I should say conformity.

I can have my home in perfect order and I can say pleasant words.

But if it's not in my heart, if it's not my experience, if I'm not cheerful and happy myself, I am not going to have a happy home, friends.

You and I as mothers and fathers are the yeast that will activate these ingredients to have a happy home.

Galatians 6 Verse 7 says it this way, Be not deceived, don't fool yourselves, mothers and fathers, God is not mocked.

For whatsoever man soweth, that shall he also reap.

And if I sow a sullen, unhappy, fussy spirit in my home, What will I reap?

And all too often, that's what happens and then we want our children to be Christ-like and we want them to obey and we want them to be happy and so we see that they're not and then we tell them they need to be when we are not and we have different expectations of our children than we have of ourselves and it will lead our children to rebellion and they don't have to be teenagers or in their 20s to get their friends.

We are the main ingredient to making our home happy.

Do you know, as I've read about mothers, there's a simple little six-letter word, and as parents, too, that we're told to do in our homes.

1 word, I want the mothers or fathers, please, to tell me what that word is.

Here's a lady who's been reading the same council I have been.

In the day, do they see you look at them at their school desk and smile at them?

Or do they only see you giving correction, giving guidance, but no joy in it at all.

Keepers at Home

I had labored all night, and that morning God gave us our first child.

This sweet little baby girl, 7 pounds 7 ounces, 21 inches long, blonde hair a little bit, and blue eyes and were we ever excited.

I can't tell you all of it went through my mind that day and the days that soon to follow, but I know many mothers here who know what I'm speaking of.

That was the day that motherhood became a reality when I could hold my baby outside of my womb.

And I decided I was going to be an at-home mother.

So I began my duties when I returned home from the hospital.

He couldn't have given us a better place, could he?

That's what I'm going to be speaking about today, keepers at home.

I'd like to tell you a little bit about my life, what happened then.

I had a lot of desire to train my little baby in arms for the Lord.

I was excited that God had given us a healthy, strong baby girl, and I wanted to raise her for the Lord.

And then I came into the reality of day after day the same things were happening, and week after week, and month after month, and yes, friends, year after year, not that there are newborns in our arms but there is responsibilities that we do not outgrow with our children in the home.

Every 1 of them is just as special as the first 1.

There was Emily in my arms on June 14, 1983.

And then there was Josiah, June 17, 1986, an early morning boy.

And every 1 was a tremendous joy to me to bring home, to begin to nurture them and help them, to love them.

And as they have continued to grow, I have seen that my mothering responsibilities went From diapering and feeding and burping and helping them to learn their beginning motor skills to now teaching them how to understand the English language and to teach them their phonics rules and their math and their reading courses and the Bible and many other things.

I found that God had a work to do in my heart because there's a lot more to mothering than just teaching our children those things, friends.

I'd like us to consider the verse found in the book of Titus.

Paul is telling Titus, a young minister of the gospel, this is Paul's injunction to him, It's God's injunction to us, friends.

And it's found in the second chapter and it begins like this, But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine.

Isn't that an interesting way to begin your discussion with a new preacher or for us as we read it, listen mothers and dads, listen men and women, listen children, these things found in this chapter are the very things that are sound doctrine.

This is a very important part of the gospel of Christianity.

And I'm going to read parts to you from verses 4 and 5 about 2 aspects of womanhood, actually motherhood, that Paul is telling us.

The age women likewise that they be in behaviors become unto holiness, not false accusers, but teachers of good things.

That they may teach the younger women, that's many of you here, that's me, that we, that they may teach the younger women to be sober and love their husbands and to love their children.

Why do you think God would tell us that we need to listen very carefully, that we need to love our children?

But there's a love that goes beyond a mother's love, a natural human love.

It's a divine love that only God can put in our hearts, friends.

But there is a love of Christ that is deeper and greater in its intensity to love our children for their salvation.

That is what God is telling us here through this verse.

That we as women, as mothers, need to love our children.

And in verse 5, that we should be keepers at home.

And actually I began to find that I was working a lot more than that.

But that's what I was scheduled to do when my husband could be home with my children.

But you know, somehow we've fallen into this idea that our children, when they're very young, don't have a lot of needs, and that's the most important time in their development.

And the Lord just put it in my heart to say, you know, mothers, when your babies are young in arms and they sleep a lot during those first few months, that's the time that we should be using in our homes to study how to be a better mother in the home.

I mean, Here's our little ones sleeping as babes and they're sleeping most of the day, aren't they?

That's our opportunity, mothers, if that's our first child, to use those hours, our time in the home during the day to be studying how to be a mother.

Because that little child who is so sweet and innocent is going to grow up very quickly.

Their minds are going to develop very quickly and they need mothers who have divine love to guide their feet throughout all aspects of the day.

We live in a super society where everything is automated, everything is advanced, everything is philosophical, everything is theoretical, and it affects us in Christianity.

I'm busy, busy, busy there and pretty soon our lives are focused on me and not on my children.

I started taking children in the home to babysit them because I was a mother at home and I thought, well, I have nothing, you know, there's not a lot to do here, so I'll start taking in my other friends' children.

I did not have the time to rightly instruct my little ones as they grew up.

As I understand now that God has shown me that I've got to go back and gain that time when I could have been using it for my children.

It is not selfish to focus and give our lives in divine love for our children in the home, to be keepers at home and let that be our priority in life, that our children will be raised with principles like Jesus lived by.

We have been on Satan's programs, friends.

We have neglected and we have set aside and we have actually refused to be keepers at home.

Because we think soul winning is important, is it?

It is very important and it starts right within our own homes.

I'd like to read to you a couple of passages found in the book Adventist Home, page 245 and 246.

I'm so thankful that the Lord slowed me down enough in my busy life, even though I was an at-home mother, to begin to see what He wanted me to do in the home with my children.

If you, this is speaking to mothers particularly, if you ignore your duty as a wife and a mother and hold out your hands for the Lord to put another class of work in them, Have we ever asked for other jobs to do, other types of work?

I've asked for a lot of things, but I didn't understand what this is saying, And I'm thankful that God didn't give me everything I asked for.

If we ask for God to give us another type of work, we can be sure He will not, God will not contradict Himself.

He will point us to the duties that we have in our homes already.

God is not going to set aside the first work of motherhood in the home for any other work that is His work, no matter how grand it is.

He will not contradict his principles, his laws of order in the things he has established.

If you have the idea that some work is greater and holier, and I want you to know that many people make mothers today feel like they are just ignorant, they're illiterate, and they're foolish for staying in the home.

If we accept that philosophy, and it's not just a worldly philosophy, friends.

It comes in different ways and subtle ways from our Christian society.

And it comes from ways right within our beloved church.

We need to understand what God has given us to do.

The Glory of Man

I'm happy to be with you again this morning.

Today I'm going to share with you a message that the Lord has been putting in my heart over the last several years.

I'd like us to first open our Bibles to the book of 1 Corinthians 11, chapter 11, verse 7.

We are just going to read a portion of this this morning.

For a man indeed ought to cover his head forasmuch as he is in the image and the glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man." The woman is the glory of man.

So I think you know what I'm going to be talking about this morning.

God has given women in the role of being a wife a special purpose when He created us.

He wants us as women, as wives, to be the glory of men.

By our character We will be an honor to our husbands.

Back to Menu

Presenter

Alane Waters

All Recordings

Singleness of Mind

56m

Making Home Happy

57m

Keepers at Home

59m

The Glory of Man

52m

I Have You in My Heart

56m

The Inner Woman

56m

The Standard of True Womanhood

1h

6. Country Living a Blessing to All

58m

3. How God Led Us

1h

Parenting with a Purpose

51m

Learning to Become One

42m

My Need of a Savior

38m

Sound Doctrine