1 Corinthians 7 provides several instructions about the gifts of singleness and marriage. It also discuss the difficult experience of divorce and widowhood. Join us as Pr. Giancarlo de Miranda unpacks this chapter. 

<p>1 Corinthians 7 provides several instructions about the gifts of singleness and marriage. It also discuss the difficult experience of divorce and widowhood. Join us as Pr. Giancarlo de Miranda unpacks this chapter. </p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

Warren Seventh Day Adventist Church

Giancarlo De Miranda

Singleness, Marriage and Divorce

So let's bow our heads and ask the Lord to bless the reading of the word, then we're going to see what this chapter has to say for us.

Father in heaven, I would like to pray for a special outpouring of the Holy Spirit now.

We also pray for the presence of your holy angels to feel the empty places of this church and we ask for a moment where we can only feel the influence from heaven we ask you Lord to enlighten our minds speak to our hearts bring conviction instruct us through your word and I pray for myself that you help me to deliver the message according to your will but We pray in Jesus name, Amen.

So, in this chapter, 1 Corinthians chapter 7, Paul talks about 5 groups of people.

He talks about people in a relationship but not married yet.

He talks about married people, divorce people and widow or widower.

And I think it includes pretty much everyone.

So I don't want you to feel that, oh, perhaps the pastor made that sermon for me because really it's for everyone.

All of us, we feel in 1 of these categories or these groups.

I want to start by showing that Paul is responding to a misunderstanding of the Corinthians.

So because sin was a huge problem in the pagan community, in the Gentile community and several of the converts in Corinth came from paganism, they were Gentiles not all of them but several of them so they come from that background, they bring baggages into their faith and their journey with Christ.

Some of them they were falling back in their old paths as we saw in chapter 5 and chapter 6 and Paul needs to instruct them to flee fornication and adultery but some in the Church of Corinth as a remedy for the problem of sin they are advocating abstinence from sex altogether and Paul is going to respond to that approach and we will see that Paul does not endorse that but we see that indication right here in chapter 1 excuse me chapter 7 and verse 1 if you have your Bibles there you're welcome to go there with me to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and we are going to read the verse 1.

The Bible says here in verse 1, now concerning the things of which you wrote me, so notice they wrote to Paul about what Paul is going to address here in the first verses.

They wanted to know and then Paul says concerning the things that they wrote to him, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.

We will see in this chapter that Paul agrees partially with their thinking that it is okay, he's not talking about morally speaking, but he says it is okay for a man not to touch a woman, meaning to not have sexual relationship and to remain single.

But he shows that that's not the solution for sexual immorality he has a broader view of the privileges of the sexual life and I want you to see from verse 2 to verse 3 what he says there the first word there is nevertheless so he's going to add to their thinking here because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband, let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her and he is talking here in the context of sexual relationship and likewise also the wife to her husband.

So Paul understood very well the nature of man, that we are sexual beings and he understand the impulses of our nature and He says that's not what we find actually in scriptures.

That's not God's will that someone must abstain from sex and that is a prescription for everybody else.

But he speaks about sex in the context of marriage because he says again in verse 2 nevertheless because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and the same with the women let them have their own husbands so notice in verse 5 verse 5 Paul advocates for sex and the marriage relationship he says do not deprive 1 another except with what's the next word there consent for a time in other words there is no permanent consent here to deprive the other from the sexual relationship for a time that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer and come together again, meaning again be active in their sexual relationship so that Satan does not, what's next word, tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

So he understands that if 1 partner deprives the other for a long period of time, he or she may cause the other to be tempted and he's saying don't do that now noticing in here is you don't need to go there just I want you to see that Paul is very consistent in his approach to active sexual life only in the marriage relationship notice in Hebrews 13 verse 4 marriage is honorable among all and then he connects marriage with what?

And the bed undefiled so he connects marriage with the bad relationship but fornicators which is sex without the marriage relationship and adulterers which is also sex without the marriage relationship God will judge.

So when we approach to this chapter we needed to consider this chapter in the context of marriage especially when talking about active sexual life.

Notice in verse 6 to verse 9 Paul recognized also the gift of singleness.

There is a gift that God gives to certain people to be by themselves let me just say this that the gift of singleness all of us has or have had in 1 point of our lives and we must be able to enjoy that time of our lives and Paul connects that time the gift of singleness with the opportunity to serve the Lord more fully so notice what we find in verses 6 through 9 here the Bible says but I say this as a concession not as a command when he says that people can marry and be active in their sexual life he says this is a concession is a privilege that is given because sex is a gift from God, far from being the original sin of Adam and Eve.

God never mentioned that in His Word, but he gave for reproduction and also for recreation within the marriage relationship but I say this as a concession, not as a command, it's not a command for everyone to marry and be active for I wish that all men were even as myself so Paul presents himself as being unmarried most likely Paul had been married in 1 point of his life because he was part of the son hindren and to be part of that you needed to be married we don't know what happened with his wife if she passed we don't have that information but Paul says for I wish that all men were even as myself but each 1 has his own gift from God notice the word gift 1 in this manner and another in that but I say to the unmarried and to the widows it is good for them if they remain even as I am but if they cannot exercise what is the next word self-control let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion meaning to commit fornication or adultery So again Paul recognized that there is a gift of being by herself and we need to identify if that's God's calling to our lives or not.

Now notice again in verse 1 where we began now concerning the things of which you wrote to me it is good it is okay for a man to not touch a woman and what are the reasons that he gives for people to appropriate the gift of singleness if for a moment of someone's life or for his or her entire life what would be some other reasons why does Paul write what he writes in this chapter wanna invite you to go with me to first Corinthians chapter 25 through 27 so this is you know troubling passage for some people and we need to understand contextually let's begin in verse 25 just a portion it says there now concerning virgins I have no commandment from the Lord when he says I have no commandment from the Lord it means that he's not quoting the Lord Jesus because he did call to the Lord Jesus in this chapter now notice in verse 26 what he says under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress, meaning to not marry.

I want you to notice the word or the words present distress.

What is the present distress that made Paul right that it is preferable for people not to marry sometimes people think that Paul is writing this for everyone it is better for someone not to marry but it's not the case.

He's talking about a circumstance that was happening in his days, the present distress, whatever that is.

We will talk about that and then he says that it is good for a man to remain as he is are you bound to a wife do not seek to be lose or to divorce are you lose from a wife do not seek a wife What is the present distress that Paul is talking about saying to the single?

He is primarily talking about the instability in the Roman Empire against Christianity.

Persecution that made unstable to make up a family.

He's talking about the near destruction of Jerusalem that the Lord Jesus had prophesied now in verse 28 he makes very clear that this is not a prescription for everyone even during the time of the present distress he writes in verse 28 but even if you do if you do marry you have not sinned and if a virgin marries she has not seen nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh but I would spare you trouble in the flesh in the in the context of the present distress to have a family now let's continue here to unpack this chapter we will see that for Paul 1 of the reasons also another reason I should say for unmarried people not to be so concerned about marrying and about the gift of singleness is in verse 32 go there with me to chapter 7 and verse 32 notice what he says about those who has the gift of singleness whether momentarily in your life or for your whole life, he says in verse 32, but I want you to be without care, he who is unmarried cares for the things of who everyone?

Of the Lord so for Paul was very serious Christianity was very serious and he said to the young people or those that are unmarried if you are unmarried you are without the extra care of the married life and you can serve the Lord more freely how He may please the Lord notice in verse 35 just skip a few verses and go to verse 35 it says and this I say for your own profit not that I may put a leash on you but for what is proper and that you may do what if you want serve the Lord without distraction so for those that are married you know what Paul is talking about once you have a family you don't have the same flexibility as a single person has to serve the Lord you have other cares and once you have children that load increases even more and that may hinder people to serve the Lord as freely as a single person can.

Now let's talk about something a little more sensitive what does the Bible teach about marriage, divorce and remarriage or remarriage so let's go to first Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 10 let's go back to verse 10 I want you to see what Paul wrote here excuse me now to the married I command yet not I but who is commanding here?

The Lord because he's going to quote the Lord Jesus Christ and that's why he's saying this the Lord not I he's not undermining his apostolic authority his prophetic authority he's just saying now I'm specifically quoting the Lord Jesus referring to what he said when he was on earth a wife is not to depart from her husband we will unpack that more in case someone is nervous what's coming here but we will cover what Paul says in this chapter as a whole but let's see what the Lord has said in his ministry since Paul is referring back to the Lord.

Notice in Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 and 32, furthermore it has been said, this is Jesus speaking, whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce but I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except for what reason?

Sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery with her if her divorce was for any other reason except sexual immorality.

Let's see another passage that the Lord Jesus spoke in the New Testament Mark chapter 10 verses 11 and 12 so he said to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her and if a woman divorces her husband it's pretty much the same and marries another she commits adultery the Christian standard for marriage is very high and sometimes unfortunately in some cases Christianity is lowering the standards.

I want to read a statement here from the SDA Bible commentary volume 6, 708 concerning what was happening in those days, the command of Jesus leaves no room for the many excuses for legal separation that are accepted by the civil courts of today, such as incompatibility, mental cruelty and others of more trivial nature.

The Greek and Roman laws allow separation in the context of word separation here is talking about divorce.

I do make a distinction of divorce and separation we'll talk about that in a little bit but the Greek and Roman laws allow separation of husband and wife for trifling reasons the same was true also among who?

The Jews And that's why these questions came not only to Jesus but also to the church in Corinth, especially in the context of assimilating believers from the Gentile world.

But simply put, the difference between divorce and separation, divorce you are legally separating, but separation can be necessary in cases of abuse with the purpose to bring redemption and repentance.

So God's plan A is for divorce not to happen, but reconciliation is God's plan B if a separation happens because of problems in the marriage noticing 1st Corinthians 7 verse 11 the very next verse that we were reading but even if she does depart let her remain unmarried to be what's next word reconcile to her husband and a husband is not to divorce his wife now I want to read here a statement from Louis Smeeds notice what he wrote about marriage and I believe that Paul understands the challenges of marriage and I wanna bring this quote to add to the sensitivity that Paul is having with his audience we do not give ourselves a good chance for growing personally if we keep hankering after our fantasy of the ideal what?

Woman or or man so in other words when a couple or a person is experiencing problem in the marriage, he or she can easily feel tempted in our days, and I believe the same in the days of the church in Corinth, to believe that he or she made a mistake.

And they have this fantasy that marriage is supposed to be smooth and very romantic in all of its stages and moments.

Notice what it says, we grow when we keep renewing our commitment to the only spouse we've got.

Did you see the emphasis here in the author?

We're going to the references right there.

But you see here that he's emphasizing the concept of experiencing growth.

Why is it relevant in the context of marriage?

Because sometimes we marry thinking that the purpose of marriage is to be happy and then we have this expectation that if I'm not happy therefore you know probably I made the wrong choice but really the primary purpose of marriage is to reproduce the image of God, is character development, you see right in the beginning even before sin when God created man in his own image he create them male and female and the 2 came together talking about Adam and Eve and they became 1 flesh and that's what it means to reproduce the image of God, the character of God.

The primary purpose of marriage is character development and God places us with people when we enter the marriage vow through prayer so we can grow we grow when we stop dreaming of a perfect marriage and adjust carefully to the 1 we have.

Our best growth comes when we forget about our own growth and focus on caring instead.

Instead of giving us a good reason for giving up a lifetime commitment, our need to grow is a primary reason for keeping it.

So Paul is going to expand the concept of divorce and remarriage and when I see expand from where Jesus left off this topic and he's going to add more information through his prophetic authority.

Notice what we find in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 15.

This is sometimes bypassed, but I want you to see that there is a second reason for divorce and remarriage notice what he says here verse 15 but if the unbeliever is talking about a spouse that does not believe in the Lord Jesus if the unbeliever departs in the context of divorce in this chapter, let him do what?

So before we read the rest, who is initiating the divorce here?

But if the unbeliever departs, because Paul believed that when somebody converts to Christianity and the spouse doesn't, the person needed to remain married and should not initiate a divorce.

But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart.

A brother or a sister is not under what, everyone?

But God has called us to peace, meaning that we do not initiate, we are here to make the relationship work.

But he does say that if the unbelieving spouse initiates, God does not hold the believing spouse to the same standard as 2 believing spouses together.

I want to read a statement here from the Biblical Research Institute, in an article called Jesus and divorce and remarriage in Matthew 19 he writes the 2 exceptions for divorce pornea which is the word for adultery there it involves all kinds of sexual sins the 2 exception for divorce pornea and divorce by unbelieving spouse as discussed in first Corinthians 7 are different only in the first case the adultery the sexual sin problem first case can the spouse who was not involved in adultery request a divorce.

So in the first case, the 1 who remained faithful can initiate the divorce.

In the other case, the believing partner is passive and does not take the initiative to get a divorce It goes on to say in the 2 exceptional cases just mentioned not only is divorce possible as tragic as that is but also the faithful partner or the believing partner who is divorced by the unbeliever may what everyone?

Now let's go back to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and I want you to see that he addresses even those who are in a committed relationship but not married yet what kind of relationship did I say?

Committed let's go there to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 36 and 37 notice what it says here but if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin and we're going to see that behaving improperly here includes he is you know feeling tempted or delaying the marriage vow.

If she is past the flower of youth, in other words, the engagement or the committed relationship took so long that she's no longer young enough to find somebody else so she passed the flower of youth and thus it must be let him do what he wishes in the sense that He can decide there if he's going to marry her or not marry her.

That's what it means, but does what he wishes.

He does not sin if he decides not to marry or if he decides to marry her.

Nevertheless, he who stands steadfast in his heart, meaning that he can have self-control over his sexual impulses, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will do what with his version?

So let's understand what he's saying here because he's not saying, ok so if you can have self-control you do not need to marry this person but you are free to find somebody else that's not what he says.

He says because of the long relationship with that person to the point that that person can now very hardly find somebody else to marry you have moral obligations to that person.

You may not marry her, that's fine I counsel you to marry her if you can control yourself and not commit fornication, that's fine but you must keep your virgin You just don't, ok, I'm not married, I never sealed the commitment, I've been with you for 10 years, now, rarely you're going to find someone to marry, I'm free in the sight of heaven to just let you go, that's not what Paul says.

So what about what he says to widows or widowers?

So we saw a little bit of that but let's just cover some more.

He talks about that again in verse 39 go there with me to verse 39 he does mention that it is okay for someone they have lost his or her spouse to remarry notice in verse 39 a wife is bound by law as long as her husband what?

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Singleness, Marriage and Divorce

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