When the going gets tough, what keeps you going? Resilience is something we all strive to display, so join Amanda and Dr. Binus in this episode as we study how to cultivate it.

<p>When the going gets tough, what keeps you going? Resilience is something we all strive to display, so join Amanda and Dr. Binus in this episode as we study how to cultivate it.</p>

<p>Free sharing permitted under the Creative Commons <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/">BY-NC-ND 3.0 (US)</a> license.</p>

Beautiful Minds Wellness

Daniel Binus

The Brain People Podcast 2022

Powerful Tools for Healthy Grieving

Amanda Anguish

Becoming the New You: The 4 Stages of Change

K'dee Elsen Crews

Good Therapy: How to Maximize Your Therapy Experience

Attachment Styles: The Key to Understanding Your Relationships

Krystin Henley

Telling the Hard Truth in Your Relationships: Betrayal Trauma Part 1

What to Do When Trust Has Been Broken: Betrayal Trauma Part 2

You’re Looking at the Problem - How Screens Affect Our Brains

A New Epidemic: Teen Suicide

CBT for Kids

The Good Side of Guilt

Staying Mentally and Emotionally Strong During the Chaos of COVID-19

The Role of Boundaries in Mental Health

Mariola Porras

Developing Personal Accountability

Unknown Sides of Narcissism

Dealing with Trauma Part 1

Dealing with Trauma Part 2

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 1

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 2

Karen Nicola

Healthy Grieving and Memorial Day

Victim vs. Victor Mentality

Dissociation

Ten Cognitive Distortions

The ABC’s of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

Optimizing Mental Health in Summer

Root Causes of Mental Illness


Welcome to the Brain People podcast, a show where 4 mental health experts team up to bring you practical tools for overcoming mental health challenges. The Brain People don't replace your doctor or therapist, but we will give you some extra tools to help you on your journey So join us as we fight mental illness 1 episode at a time Welcome to the brain people podcast I'm Amanda Anguish and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and I'm joined today with my co-host Dr. Daniel Bynas and we are going to be talking about resilience during stressful times And so I'm gonna just ask you the question cause it's kind of a lame question, but sometimes it helps to start on a level playing field. What is resilience? Yeah, it's actually a good question.

So resilience really has to do with the ability to bounce back. And you think about a ball, for example, a ball that has resilience like you throw it on the ground and Even though it might temporarily if it's a bouncing ball like kind of squish or a tennis ball or something like that Then if it has resilience it actually goes back into the original shape and it is able to bounce back. So when we're talking about resilience in the face of stress, we're really talking about the ability to bounce back, to not get bent out of shape and stay out of shape, even though for a little while, we might be a little bit out of shape. Yeah. As you were saying that, I'm thinking of those like 25 cent bouncy balls you get in the coin machine and stuff and how they bounce like forever up and down.

So I wanna be 1 of those if that's what resilience is. That's what we're gonna talk about today. So why is resilience important? Well, 1 of the most important factors that we find in mental health and actually medicine in general is the impact of stress on people's health. In other words, if we don't get good at stress, if we don't learn how to handle stress properly, it really can have a huge negative effect on both our physical health and our mental health.

For example, studies clearly show that if people are dealing with chronic long-term stress and they're not managing that appropriately, that it can increase their risk for autoimmune diseases, for obesity, for heart disease, for cancer, as well as a myriad of mental health problems like of course, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, depression, substance use disorders and other addictions, even increase the risk for STDs. So there's a lot of different factors if we're not dealing with stress appropriately that it can really wreak havoc on our body, on our relationships and our mental health. Yeah, I think a lot of people would like to be resilient after that explanation and all the benefits of it and stuff. So you said stress, but I've heard that not all stress is bad. So can you explain that a little bit too?

Absolutely, and I think that's a really important thing for all of our listeners to take home because we tend to want to live life, or at least I've had this concept myself in the past, like, you know what? Life is best if it's minimally stressful. Like if I don't have any stress, that's when I'm gonna be the happiest. But that's actually not true. There is a good amount of stress.

And there's actually something that they call a stress curve. And what they find in that stress curve is when people have too little stress, like they don't have any pressure, no deadlines, nothing going on in their life. That sounds pretty awesome. Yeah, right? It seems like it would be really awesome.

Like, oh, just time at the beach all the time. Every day is a day at the beach. Actually, that makes people less happy and they don't get much done. There's not a lot of motivation. Now, as you go up that stress curve and it's a bell-shaped curve, then at the top of the curve, the performance, people's performance, and actually even their happiness levels will increase when there is some degree of stress.

You know, when there is some deadlines, there is maybe even some hardships that they're going through, because those things are forcing them to actually be challenged and try new ways of thinking, new ways of behavior. It's forcing them, or I shouldn't say forcing them, but allowing them to have some motivation to actually be faster, be more efficient, et cetera. Now, on the other side of the curve, once you start getting too much stress, that's when you really can start breaking down. Because, so there is a threshold like where the stress actually becomes too much, then it can lead to burnout and it can lead to irritability and anger and depression and anxiety and all those things. As you're saying that, I'm imagining like some of the people I've worked with and I'm assuming people you've worked with too, where how do we know where that point is?

Because some people think like, oh, the top of my bell curve is like way over here and somebody else is like, oh, well, I'm way over on the other side of that. And maybe they don't have as much stress as they imagined to be having. Absolutely. And I think that's a great question. And, you know, part of what we actually want to address today is, is thinking about how can we essentially widen that curve?

In other words, how can we actually learn to perform more at a higher level, even when we're dealing with higher levels of stress. And so it's true that sometimes if we haven't learned the main key factors that can help us to be resilient, to deal with stress, then even little stressors can be like, oh, it's just too much, you know? And I'm already like in that anxiety mode and I'm already feeling overwhelmed. On the other hand, if we get tools that can actually help us to deal with stress in a healthier way, then it's amazing how much stress the human mind and the human body and even our relationships can handle and it can actually help us grow. That's interesting, because I remember a quote, I think it's from Dave Goggins, and he says, just when you think you can't do anymore, you're only at 40% of what you're capable of.

And I think about that sometimes and I'm like, wow, is this only the 40% that I'm at right now? Could I actually handle more if I talk to myself differently about it or had tools differently? Absolutely. And you know, 1 thing I wanna mention, because I know that there's a lot of people in the world that are dealing with stress right now. And we really, you know, this episode, we wanted to especially gear towards some of those, especially those in Ukraine that are really struggling with huge amounts of stress.

And we might say, well, that's definitely not good stress. But the point there is if we learn the right tools to deal with stress with the right mindset, then, and also we're gonna talk in a subsequent episode how we can even do things to our physical health to increase our resilience, then even the very difficult things, the traumatic things that happen in our life can actually help us to grow. I think what you're talking about reminds me that don't we all just wanna learn how to handle things better? Like we don't wanna feel out of control in a situation. We wanna feel like we can manage it and stuff.

So yeah, That's really cool. So in talking about that, it seems like a big emphasis is on our mindset. So share a little bit about how the mindset works with us. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's a couple interesting studies that I'll highlight real quick.

So, you know, 1 poll, they did 1 world survey and they were asking people about their stress levels. And they asked over 125, 000 people worldwide. That's a lot of people. Yeah, right? What their stress levels were like.

And then they compared that with the amount of happiness that people had. And they actually found that the happiest people, believe it or not, were actually the ones that were the most stressed because the things in life that often stress us are also the things that bring us happiness, that give meaning to our lives. Another study found, so this was an interesting study that where there was a whole bunch of people laid off of their jobs. And they found that some people really struggled after that. I mean, they really were down and out.

They were basically, you know, floundering in their ability to deal with life. But then another group of people that were also laid off flourished. It was like, it was almost like a new page in their life and they actually were able to make progress and they were able to- Maybe that job wasn't their favorite job. That could be, right? Like I've been released.

Yeah, I've been released finally. And they found like, okay, well, what was the difference? And they said, it was really came down to a mindset and they coined that term hardiness, hardiness which was really the mentality of saying I can grow through this, good can come out of this and I will actually be able to change in a positive way. Cool, so basically we all want to have a positive mindset when we go through things. And that makes me think of something that I talk to my clients about too sometimes.

1 of the things you get out of hardiness or work is a dopamine hit. It's 1 of the rewards of doing something hard. I think some people, it seems like, have honed in on that and they realize they understand that. They keep going forward in difficult things because there's that reward of that dopamine hit and that, �Oh, I can do this and bring it on, give me more kind of thing, not always, but you know, it's almost like a welcome challenge. Absolutely, and I think that's 1 of the reasons that we find that stress can actually bring a lot of meaning because, you know, when we're, even though it's hard to like work and hard to meet difficult circumstances, when we wrestle with those, and we're challenged by those and then we find like, wow, you know, I did find meaning or wow, look, I was able to accomplish something by working hard, that is rewarding, right?

It's like, yes, I had to put the work in there, but there was a purpose for that. There was good that came out of that. And I think that that is a wonderful thing. Yeah, I think you said you were going to share some questions that we can ask ourselves to gauge whether we have that positive mindset. You know, you want to share those?

Absolutely. And these questions I think are really helpful because they're not just about seeing where we're at now, but it's also, these are questions that I think can help people to grow into developing a more positive mindset. And most of us has probably heard of the term post-traumatic stress disorder. And that's, You know, when you go through trauma, you are overwhelmed and you keep reliving it, you start avoiding things, you are just really feeling stuck because of the- Hypervigilance. Hypervigilance.

That it's gonna happen again. And so, you know, when people have gone through serious trauma, like many have in the world, especially in Ukraine right now, it is easy to slip into that post-traumatic stress mindset. But there's a new term that's been coined that I really love, and it's actually called post-traumatic growth. Post-traumatic growth. And so the point here is that we want to look at how can we actually grow out of the trauma that we've experienced?

How can we change in a positive way? So there's several questions that I want to highlight and I want to encourage our listeners to jot these down and then either do some journaling on your own, or these are also great questions to open up in a group discussion, which can really be healthy and helpful to even process like, wow, what just happened? What and finding meaning through that. So yeah, I'll just go ahead and go through a couple of questions here. So number 1, how can this experience help me grow stronger?

How can this experience help me grow stronger? And I think, you know, even though there's challenges that we would never choose, right? Maybe it's a loss of a loved 1 or maybe it's an injury or, but does that mean that we can't grow from it? And I always tell myself, even when I'm, especially when I'm dealing with something I really don't like, I'm like, well, at least I get to grow in my character, have more patience, right? Yeah.

Yeah. So that's 1 important question. The second question- Thank you for the mental gym Lord that I'm working myself out in. Yes, yes, exactly. And that's a good point, you know, and trusting that, you know, God can really bring good out of that, you know, even in our development as human beings.

I think Joseph said it, 1 of my favorite quotes in Genesis where he says, what you meant for evil, God meant for good. That's 1 of the things I keep in mind. Yeah. And I love that quote because it shows how, yes, you know, we know the devil comes to kill and to steal and to destroy. He wants to really make our life miserable.

But what God means, what the devil means for evil, God can turn into good if we can start adopting this mindset. So another question is, how could I personally grow or change? And I think that's an important question to ask ourselves and to ask God and even maybe others that we trust too. Like, yeah, how could this actually help me to become a better person? Sometimes crises bring out our weaknesses.

They reveal like, oh man, I don't have a lot of patience or I get really angry in these types of situations. Oh, I thought I was really great until this happened. And so it gives us that awareness. That's cool. Yeah.

Another question is how could I begin to give more time and energy to the things that bring me joy or matter most to me. So this really has to do with prioritizing. In other words, sometimes we get off track and we're just working way too much, not spending time with our relationships or with God. And then when we're faced with a traumatic or difficult situation, suddenly we're like, wow, you know, my life could change so quickly. I need to really focus on the things that matter the most.

Another question is, in what ways could this experience help me grow spiritually? And again, I think that is a wonderful question to ask. It's a wonderful question, not only to ask ourselves, but to ask God, like what, you know, we don't always know why, and we don't always get the answers why, And we can say, you know, why God, he doesn't always answer, but we can still say, okay, well, even though I don't understand it all, how can I grow to trust you more? How can I grow spiritually? And God can handle those questions too.

That's right. That's right. And I think it's important to wrestle with God. And then how could this experience strengthen my relationships? Again, I think that has to do with prioritizing, but then also being intentional with what are the things, the steps I could take to actually connect in a deeper way in my relationships instead of maybe putting them on the back burner.

And finally, what positive changes could I make in my life as a result of this experience? And so that kind of goes along with the other things that we're talking about, but really saying, yeah, sometimes I need to make some hard choices, and sometimes I need to say no to some things to create space to have more of what's better, or what's best, because good is sometimes the enemy of what's best. Best, yeah. Well, those are some great questions, I think, each 1 of our listeners can spend some time with. That's a good homework assignment for each 1 of them.

And as they're doing that, they can consider the answers to it, their priorities and everything. So we've talked about resilience, what is resilience? We've talked about why is that important? We've also talked about the mindset and having a healthy mindset and a growth mindset and then those questions are a good way to get to the answers for how to build that growth mindset. So we hope this is helpful for you and continue to listen to the Brain People podcast and we'll bring you more good information on the brain.

Thank you. Burnoutstudio.com Thanks for listening. To hear more episodes, find us on social media, or support us financially, visit thebrainpeoplepodcast.com.

Series

The Brain People Podcast 2022

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 1

Description

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

Other Teachings in Series

Powerful Tools for Healthy Grieving

27m

Becoming the New You: The 4 Stages of Change

23m

Good Therapy: How to Maximize Your Therapy Experience

22m

Attachment Styles: The Key to Understanding Your Relationships

27m

Telling the Hard Truth in Your Relationships: Betrayal Trauma Part 1

30m

What to Do When Trust Has Been Broken: Betrayal Trauma Part 2

28m

You’re Looking at the Problem - How Screens Affect Our Brains

29m

A New Epidemic: Teen Suicide

25m

CBT for Kids

23m

The Good Side of Guilt

24m

Staying Mentally and Emotionally Strong During the Chaos of COVID-19

34m

The Role of Boundaries in Mental Health

39m

Developing Personal Accountability

23m

Unknown Sides of Narcissism

29m

Dealing with Trauma Part 1

16m

Dealing with Trauma Part 2

15m

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 1

17m

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 2

22m

Healthy Grieving and Memorial Day

29m

Victim vs. Victor Mentality

29m

Dissociation

32m

Ten Cognitive Distortions

38m

The ABC’s of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

34m

Optimizing Mental Health in Summer

28m

Root Causes of Mental Illness

34m

Sound Doctrine